Reclamation Inc.

Honest to God

2010-04-28T12:22:00.000-07:00

Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.-- Winston Churchill

I have come to a very harsh reality this morning as I was preparing for class. Am I honest? Many would use the word integrity but I have pretty much camped on the word honest. If you are anything like me this word conjures up images of the past. When you could walk down Main Street without hearing sirens or gun shots and safely purchase a cream soda from the candy store clerk. You may be asking yourself, "Well OK to whom do you have a problem being honest too." My feeling is that I am not too honest with myself any more. In my communication to God I know that I have nothing in which to hide, mask, or lie about, but to myself I show no such transparency. To myself, I hide, divert and redirect as much truth about myself as I can. In front of God I know that I am a man in need of much help and grace and rarely do I offer the same to myself. A wise man once told a story found in the book of Luke; he talked about trees bearing good and bad fruit and about two men who built a house, one on solid ground and the other on sand. To be honest with you, I have heard these stories told hundreds of times and applied in a thousand different ways. However, I must share with you a revelation, a reviewing if you will that I had this morning. Neither the bad tree nor the man building on the sand was ever honest with themselves in what they were doing. The man building the house on sand never stopped and said, "Wait a minute! What am I doing building a house on sand, I need to stop immediately." Instead, he continued and we know the result. The tree never stopped to think what it could do differently to produce better fruit. I pray that we have the bravery and courage to be honest with ourselves and our faith. I hope that we exchange what is real within ourselves and that truth overlaps in how we communicate to the world.

Brotherhood

2010-03-20T19:29:00.000-07:00

I Believe in the brotherhood of all men, but I do not believe in waisting brotherhood on anyone who does not want to practice it with me. Brotherhood is a two way street.

Malcolm X

The bonds of brotherhood surpass expectation and want. The bond brother’s share can help when helping does not help; it is a glass of water to man in the middle of the ocean. Not growing up with any brothers or fathers I really do believe this is the one relationship I have been unjustly deprived of. I never expected to need it as much as I do now in this time of my life. Having brothers makes me feel saved though I never knew I was ever lost. I am truly blessed by God that I have a clan of fellow warriors that help me, carry me, push me when all I want to do is lie down and call it in. How can we follow this Jesus and then deny the community that he has so richly and lovingly opened the door to? I pray that we as fallen people begin to trust in our inherent need for each other. We must break through our own barriers and walls and dig tunnels through our defenses to allow much needed communication and love to pass.

People Like Walnuts

2010-03-05T10:16:00.000-08:00

Have you ever sat on a porch cracking open walnuts shells for the savory meat in the middle? I love this simple yet repetitive task because it offers a peace of mind rarely found in the day to day humdrum. Inevitably, you always comes across the one nut that does not want to crack. Instead of dropping it and continuing with another one you spend the next 15 minutes giving this one nut your undivided attention. After several colorful words and a couple cracked nails you have crushed the stubborn thing to the point the meat inside is unusable.

Youth work is a lot like this. Every group of teenagers, or people in general for that matter, have that one stubborn mind that refuses to crack easily. Instead of focusing on the easier more pliable minds we respond to the challenge and attack like our honor is at stake. Days, weeks, maybe years go by with not one budge and we are left burnt out and exhausted believing that we have in some way failed them, ourselves, and our God. A great man once told me to focus on the ones that respond and let God work on the ones that don't. This is completely opposite of what my instinct wants me to do. I want to be the wise Yoda that take the rough and rude pupil and mold and shape him into a respectable warrior... for God of course. Instead, I am quickly learning that God must be the slow moving water that erodes the hard shell of doubt and apathy away. I guess the question is do I have the patience to allow God to work in his own time table. I pray that we find the movements of God peaceable and reaffirming instead of slow and annoying. I hope that we first crack our own shells before we work on the surfaces of others.

Closing the Gaps

2010-03-03T10:09:00.001-08:00

· The concept behind this and much of the problems are caused because teenagers communicate like Chewbacca from Star Wars

o It’s incredibly difficult to talk to teenagers especially when their hungry, tired, or awake. Have you ever noticed that Chewbacca never has subtitles when he talks, everybody just understands him but you the watcher. We laugh at this but we know that when you were a teenager you had the same problem in trying to communicate to your parents and grandparents. In Sudan Texas the church of Christ is an older church it has been there sense the founding of the city and the congregation has a hard time communicating to the younger about their traditions. For example we had a gospel meeting once that the elders wanted to invite the youth of the community to. So we sing songs about ebon and pinions and white palaces, we are using words like thou, thus and thy and I notice that slowly, one by one the kids start losing focus.

o I have grown up in and out of the church of Christ and I remember my grandpa taking me aside and teaching me the ins and outs of old school worship. What I received from that was the why in my grandfather’s worship. So much of our job in maintaining this family is translating our faith from generation to generation. How do we bring the wealth of spirit, maturity and love from the older body parts and deliver them to the newer arms, legs and shoulders in such a package that allows them to understand more easily.

o Here are some questions we must ask.

§ Do we conform to the younger generation and sacrifice our traditions?

§ Do we submit to the younger generation’s spiritual needs and expectations?

§ Do we think what worked for the last generation will work for this new one?

§ What do we keep and what do we lose? What needs change and what do we need to desperately hold on to.

· The problem!

o In the past Grandparents, Parents, and children grew up in an environment where they could share, teach, and instruct on values and information on family, community, and society. Now we have the peer to peer community that is quickly becoming exclusive. Texting, Face book, Twitter, and MySpace are not the problem here and I don’t believe that we will be able to identify any single cause or affect that is to blame.

o Dr. Diane Shallue says - This lack of intergenerational contact leads each generation to see itself as a separate subculture rather than an integral part of an entire community, a perspective that often leads to conflict and competition rather than cooperation.

o Do we segregate our teens into their front right section of the church building and believe that we have down our job for the week?

· The solution

o There is no miracle elixir that I can make you digest to just magically solve this problem. All the papers I read go as far to say there is no one program/ministry/event that can fix this.

o Religious institutions/churches are some of the only places in this country where older people, younger people, and in-between people can come and mingle on a deeper level. Jesus called this thing the church and he built this after the format of the family. Here we have an excuse to get together and share with one another our spiritual defeats, and victories. Where else in your daily habit are you surrounded with such a wealth of cross generational wisdom and understanding?

· How did God do it?

o How did God do this? How was he able to pass instruction to each generation?

§ He did this through memorial’s in which parents and teacher have an object lesson to teach truth and tradition.

o Before we read Joshua we have to qualify the relationship God has with the Israelites. For the last 40 years God has wanted to destroy Israel time and time again. It’s hard to see the merciful God through all of the threat God makes. It is amazing to see a people so blessed with all of the visuals that they have been given and still doubt. The only thing that is worse than doubting God’s existence is losing belief in his power.

§ Have you ever doubted your mother’s authority? How about your grandma’s?

o As said before they have been travelling for 40 years waiting for all the people who left Egypt 20 years and up to die for their lack of faith. So we have this new generation coming up with only 2 original people who remember the slavery of Egypt. A lot of conflict is heading their way as they prepare to enter the land promised to Abraham and they will have to be reminded constantly of what God has done for their ancestors.

o It is important that we pass on traditions and pass on what we have learned to the next generation, right? If we refuse to learn from our past then we are destined to repeat it, but how can we learn when no one is willing to explain it. If we refuse to teach it and in turn learn it how can any of us hope to escape the cycle of conflict?

· Joshua 3:7-11 the Jordan crossing and memorial

o You wonder at this point if they ever surprised by God and what he has them doing. Remember that God is doing all of this to show them that the “living God is among them”. God could have had them use conventional methods to get them across the Jordan but he doesn’t.

o The first point we must get from this is the impression a living God leaves on his people. Are we a community of people, families and individuals that exemplify a church that serves respects and glorifies a living God? Are willing to do the impossible based on a firm belief that God is active and not just reactive. What I mean is, do we believe in a God that’s acts only when he is attacked or do we show this community a God that is proactive in His love for them. Do we communicate that belief accurately to each other throughout the week?

o The second point is imagining what this looks like to the city of Jericho just across the river. Hundreds of thousands maybe millions of people just crossed (supernaturally) a river and is now posted right outside their door. These traditions, this community is not just for us it is for the people out there also.

§ I say this so we understand the importance of the communication and memorials that we must have in here with each other.

§ God tells us that judgment will begin within the house of God, and if we are barely saved then what’s going to happen to the lost

· Joshua 4:1-7 How can we do it?(Notice 2 things)

o The purpose was so that parents have a reason to explain to their children what God has done for them.

§ So when you are traveling along and you come across this part of Israel you can stop and teach your children what God has done for you.

§ I want to challenge those who have kids to take some time and explain some of the things we do, communion, baptism, why we meet on Sunday’s. Use yourself as the story, and becoming a teacher will require you to learn.

§ Duet. 6:4-9 teach these diligently to your children. I get PASSION from this.

o The memorial is useless (not powerless) if nobody teaches others what it means

§ It becomes just one more thing in the way of your path. No one learns and no one grows. So many of Israel’s problem stem from this one fault, the priest’s stopped teaching and people stopped caring.

§ It was in times of trouble that Israel was reminded of God’s authority and of all his reminders of his power.

o In fact most of Israel acts as a constant reminder of the great responsibility the Israelites have to communicate their past to the next generation. They had Jacob’s well, Mt. Ebal and Mt. Gerizim, Hebron where Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob and Leah were buried, all of these things were to remind them all of the teaching points they have at their disposal.

· The greatest and hardest thing we can do on this path of recovery is take off our blinders and open up to people. This is a continual process that requires a lot of maintenance.

o This may require a facebook fast or imposing a facebook fast.

o This make take the form of cancelling texting

o This may mean asking Morris out to lunch, or taking Connor out for coffee.

o We have to break down and really get to know each other.

§ Asking questions about our walk in Christ, purity and parenting hardships.

o We must use the opportunities around us to discuss Church and not push it.

I'm Sorry

2010-02-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry that life sucks

I'm sorry that it is tough, unresponsive and stiff

I'm sorry that I am helpless when the hurt, pain, and suffering happen.

I'm sorry to say goodbye

I'm sorry that I must move on

I'm sorry that I cannot take you were I am going

I'm sorry to make you cry

I'm sorry make you feel distrust and anger

I'm sorry to befriend you and then mislead you

I'm so for myself

I'm sorry that I am not able to repair

I am sorry

I am hurt

I am disgust

I am the problem without a solution

I am the reason, cause and circumstance of redemption

I am what I am

I am the pruner and pain giver

I am the gate that closes and opens

I am the door you run through and the window you must break

I am the death and the life

I am the decider and judge

I am and you are not.

Please God...send someone...just not me.

2010-02-05T10:16:00.000-08:00

Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. - God

Happy are you, oh Israel! Who is like you? A people saved by the LORD, the shield of your help, and the sword of your triumph!

- Last words of Moses, the servant of the LORD.

I am inadequate. I am unworthy to be doing this. I do not deserve this. There has to be someone out there that can do this so much better than I. It feels like a poison doesn't it? Do you feel this seeping down your spirit, coating everything it touches in a slimy ooze that no matter how much you scrub, scratch or claw at, it just wont come off. Do you notice the dimming light of life, vitality and grace slowly close as inferiority consumes you in it's warm death. The worst thing about this is its true. When rubber meets the road are we really worth the effort. A great man once told me that the greatest thing I ever did in my life was drive the nails into the bleeding wrist of the LORD. In church building after church building, do we fill the pews with numb, dislocated individuals loosely connected to a body all ready fragmented and broken? Moses, when he stood before God, gave every excuse in the book. He held nothing back in the contempt he held himself in, never concerned with how God might see him. Did he look back on his years being a prince looking down on his relatives? Was guilt and remorse slowly tightening its grasp around his hairy neck? Moses had 40 years to reflect, repent and forget, and here we find him in front of a burning bush that is making him rub his nose in it. Was that what God was doing? If I were Moses I would have wanted so badly to run from that place and immerse myself back into the calm life of a shepherd and husband and leave God to his own machinations. If I were God I would have made Moses remember all that he did; show him aerial views of his murder, of his arrogance over his brothers. However, God does not do this; instead, he embraces a broken man thats believes he is not worth the effort of a loving redeeming God. Yes at first God is furious, wouldn't you be? This man whom God created tells God that he doesn't know what he, God, is doing. Crazy right? But in the end, when all pretenses and excuses are brushed easily aside, Moses lays his heart down.

"Please God...send someone...just not me."

I mean really haven't we all said this at one time; yet God time and time again refuses to do what we say. Knowing that there is someone better for the job, or worthy of the responsibility; God still looks at us in the face and says I want you and you are perfect for the job. That is truly beautiful because He could do this by himself and instead he chooses you and I to do it. Worth does not factor in with God, Thank goodness for that or else nothing would get done. God factors in Christ and in that equation you are worthy, you are capable, you are everything that is needed to make real lasting things happen. Really let this sink in for a moment. God knowing what you would do, knowing what we would do to his son once he got here, he did it any way so that we might have a chance to work together. It is easy to look at ourselves as incompetent, unworthy sinners but it takes real effort to see us as God does. In God's eyes we are worth everything. In God's eyes we are real people, not the fake ones we have become so accustomed to but living breathing talking beings. I pray that you see in you the worth that God sees in you. I pray that we embrace hope, life and faith instead of popularity, culture and this life. God bless

What does it take to be a father?

2010-01-27T09:45:00.001-08:00

"It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father." - Pope John XXIII

"It is much easier to become a father than to be one." - Kent Nerburn

I have asked myself that question quite a lot recently. However, before you jump to multiple conclusions Natalie is not pregnant, or at least we don't know if she is or isn't. Besides that I have wanted to be a father for a very long time and for a very long time I have wondered if, when the time comes, will I have what it takes. Millions of children are born to parents that have no right raising pets let alone human being, am I somehow better or worthy? What makes me different that I deserve to be a father to somebody that will someday have the ability to choose or deny God. Someone wiser than me once said that it is a great and frightening authority God has given us, to bring eternal people into the world. I have seen good fathers and I have experienced bad ones, I have seen the product of lazy, neutral, submissive, non existent fathers. The one thing I do understand quite well is the importance of a dad. When I see people that I wish to label as good fathers, I see one undeniable quality and it is not money or the financial security that they provide for their family, it is their trust in God. It is a trust in the father that I do not grasp but is tangibly seen. I understand that I know nothing when it comes to parenting or just about anything concerning raising children for that matter, but pray that God has patience on me, because I sure do want to try.

Reconciliation

2010-01-22T11:04:00.000-08:00

“Reconciliation is to understand both sides; to go to one side and describe the suffering being endured by the other side, and then go to the other side and describe the suffering being endured by the first side.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

How well do you reconcile? Do we know the mechanics of forgiveness so well that we have lost the heart to reunite. After we have forgiven someone of their abuse towards us do we seek reconciliation. Or do we forgive and then still hold onto our hatred, our bitterness and our wrath; looking for those slights and little holes in others. Do we forgive and then wait for the next abuse? Should we forget what others have done to us and like ignorant children, stumble yet again into the same ditch that ensnared us the first time.

Luke 23:32-33- two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. And when they came to the place that is called the place of The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. We have read this many times and we may even have seen enactments of this crucification scene. I have watched the passion of the Christ and I have seen many passion plays and devotionals. All of them are powerful and in their own way deep and refreshing to my spirit. However, when I see his beaten face, it is this next passage that really drives this forgiveness home. Christ does the unthinkable he forgives them. If that was all of that the story is, it still not as magnificent. Jesus Christ reconciles with them even excuses them by saying that they did what they without truly knowing who they were doing it too. This rich undeserving forgiveness was given to people that Jesus had known for the last three years. It was given to his apostles that left his side, it was given to those that abused him at every step, it was given to those that beat him.

I hope that when we forgive; and when we do forgive we reconcile and seek to understand and then truly rebuild the burned bridges and destroyed roads.

We Must be the Lesson

2010-01-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

A. W. Tozer -

"Without worship, we go about miserable."

C. S. Lewis -

"We only learn to behave ourselves in the presence of God."

A couple of weeks ago I was having dinner at an older members home with another couple our age. after dinner we went into their living room and discussed the qualities and experiences of praising God. He asked me how much time I spend a week in offering praise and worship to God? That question, obviously triggering this blog post, led me to one of the greatest struggles that I have had sense working with youth. Both in Texas and in California teaching praise has been both difficult very time consuming. How do you teach praise, worship and giving God blessings? I mean, I have been in many classes that told me that I should and that I should do it often. I have been told of the hundreds of biblical characters, saints and historical Christians that have all been good examples of what a strong Christian does in relation to God and the honor due him. but how do I translate something that is so elemental to the foundation of ones Christianity to people being raised by our society today. Is God's authority the key to unlock the door of their world view command center; or maybe it is the landscape of God's glory that they must grasp before that frolic in the golden fields of putting praise and honor into human speech. For, to me, worship is the very air in my lungs. The more I grow and the older I age, the greater the desire, the more irresistible the need to give what I can in utter reverence and praise to God. Is it something you can give to another person? Is it like a gift given to an eager 10 year old on Christmas? I have come to think of the instruction of worship like teaching a man dying of thirst the important role water plays in one staying hydrated. The dying man does not need a college education or a degree in hydroponics to know its importance to him. He knows what he needs even if words escape him. He does not need further instruction, he merely needs that which will keep alive. We must be people who teach others through our actions that worship to God is a necessity to life. We must be the lesson that draws the dying from the dessert.

Game nights and Small Groups

2010-01-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead

Well, I have been here in Simi Valley, CA for 5 months and I feel like I'm just now getting to the gritty work of ministry. Last Friday we started Game night and LORD willing it will continue for quite some time. Also, soon we will begin a small group for teens and their parents, which I am looking forward to very much. These two ministries are so important to me for the purpose of getting to know every body on a personal level and bringing church out of the building.

What I really need are ideas concerning ways and functions of these two ministries. Things that you have been done or seen done that might work or not work. I am an empty cup waiting to be filled by good ideas that are worth following.

New Years resolution- no more New Year's resolutions

2010-01-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

Eric Zorn

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

Oscar Wilde
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

Well this is a new year and with it come the same responsibilities and concerns. Do not misjudge me, I am just as excited as you to usher in a new calender.

Last week I was listening in on to others as they were explaining to each other the reasons for their new years resolutions. Each went around the circle reassuring one another that this year will be the year that they actually do something different and that they will finally assert the change the want. When I was younger I was much more pessimistic and I would have laughed in their faces, but now I know not to do such things... out loud at least. I respect the want to celebrate the coming year with a declaration of difference and change from the last, but I do have a hard time believing it. Actually I have come to the understanding that we give these oaths and promises as a pagan would to the cosmos and stars, like it is expected from the very fabric of our surroundings. I do not think we should completely give up on the prospect of change and becoming something better than what we were. However, I want to challenge myself to be constantly looking for paths to crawl closer to the will of God. The word "crawl" was not a typo, this last year I have done more of that than walking or even running to God. I want all of us to change on a daily basis; becoming more like God and giving up on the parts of us that drag us away from the picture God had originally painted us to be. Instead of embracing change and resolutions of old standards one day a year, let us change habits and resolve problems daily and not annually.

Life = Christ

2009-12-30T10:04:00.001-08:00

Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.

Thomas Aloysius Dorgan

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

Douglas Adams

What is life like? You know what I mean. Is it like a box of chocolates? Is like a boulder, when you get it rolling, if you can get it rolling, you can’t stop it? Can we, like fruit pickers, pluck an image out of the great blue yonder and then define all of life by that one image. Unless that image is the sky that you are grabbing at, I say no. I have given it (life's definition) a lot of thought and I must conclude that life by its very definition has no definition; instead, it is a gift. Yet, by making that statement I am again relegating the definition of life to another object. But maybe this one parable is the true one that defines fully the concept of life.

Life is something that is given outside of your control. Even with contraceptives and abortion running around like rabid pack animals, life is still not in our control. Life is something you do not deserve. I must confess that I am looking at this situation through the binoculars of the existence of God and therefore must conclude that we did not deserve life and very well could have been left unmade. The fact that God desired to create us shows a type of understanding, pain and love I can never and will never understand.

I cannot push to the side or deny the way that this world portrays life. I know I should not be as surprised as I am but I must confess it is ridiculous. One of the definitions of ridiculous is having a frivolous attitude. The way that we allow public opinion to determine our values on life, death and the right to it is shocking. Even when God was pushed to define for us what life, true life, really means, he said it in a way that still crumbles my soul. "Life is Christ," and with that one statement more purpose, direction and peace flowed from the mouth of truth than all the words of wisdom, poetry, and science man has created.

Choose to smile

2009-12-29T12:56:00.001-08:00

Have you ever felt like if the world was smiling, you wouldn't, just to spite them? I'm not saying that I am in such a pessimistic attitude; I'm just asking the question. Now I have been tempted to do just that, refuse to smile that is, and succumb to the constant negative. Recently I have heard of fellow ministers (both paid and not) and have noticed myself being bombarded by the oppressive influence of pessimism and hardship of the soul and mind. One perspective popular held to, is that this must mean we are doing something right, or else evil would be unwarranted. I somewhat agree with that and even acknowledge that suffering accompanies a closer relationship with God. Taking on the mantle of spiritual leadership opens us up to depression and hardship and we often forget to smile.

I was recently having a conversation with someone who was being very harsh with their criticism and remarks of both the leadership and direction of the church, and through his eyes I would have to agree with him. On my way out he said something to me that really stuck, "however bad they may be, I hope that you can keep up you enthusiasm." that made think of how I must come across to these people and how, as a whole, we ministers must always show a face of encouragement and general enthusiasm to the congregation. I did not expect the heavy weight that would be put on my emotional and spiritual back when I took this job. I have now adjusted and I not only accept but I also love the growth I have seen in myself because of it. I don’t think we must be charismatic, the world all ready has too much of that. However, we must remind ourselves to just smile. I challenge you to smile when you are with the church, when you are in elders/deacons meetings, when you are teaching/participating in small groups. Furthermore, when you do jump over the cliff and take the leap showing others that you choose to smile instead of cry, try mean it!

Redemption thoughts

2009-12-22T11:16:00.000-08:00

Are we redeemable? If you were to point that question at God you would get a most resounding affirmative. I mean look at all God has done to redeem us from ourselves. He has done and is doing absolutely everything within his own limits (human choice that is) to bring man back into a saving, permanent, and healthy relationship with himself. God has gone so far as to send his son, knowing what we would do to him once he got here, to live among us frail humans and eventually give his life to pay the ransom for our own. The bible is full of amazing stories showing us at our worst and God making the best out of those situations. In the end, I still ask are we redeemable? I want to say no, truthfully, because of all we have done to each other. Our society is so self destructive, petty and to put it simply, dirty. I’m not making this statement standing far off looking at the earth with purer-than-thou vision. I am saying this standing chin deep in all my filth with no way to get out. In the end I am confronted with the same truth, it is not how we see ourselves but how God sees us. The amazing ways Jesus teaches us is manifested best through his teachings on love. Jesus asks us to love one another, not because of others love towards us, but because of God’s love towards us. Jesus does not leave the connecting tissue between us faulty humans unenforced; instead, he connects this truth with himself. Remembering all that Jesus did in the name of this love suffering, living, healing, dying, crying, walking, and hurting, he did this through the hands and feet of a purpose caused by God. All because of God’s love for his son which he so graciously shared with us. Praise God in the highest that he sees us through the eyes of compassion, redemption and love. I pray that we might do the same to each other. That we look through the eyes of a suffering servant to see the pure soul that God intended us to be. In the words of Mother Teresa “we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts.”

Thoughts of one before God

2009-12-16T18:28:00.000-08:00

Here is a shot at poetry

My soul dismays at the sight of righteousness

In terms of good and well, I stand in foul

In terms of life and vitality, I walk in fields of death

In terms of purpose and transparency, I exist on levels of decay

When standing face to face with the mint, I find the original unbearable

When called to be perfect, I crumble under pressure and rejection

When called to effect, I am disabled by the affect I have

After the structure of a warrior, I succumb to the element of a coward

Built to be redeemable, I am most to be disposed

Because when you recognize the facts, miracles, chances and opportunities

you are faced with the same reality, I am and always will be, man.

My torn and bleeding heart

2009-12-11T12:26:00.000-08:00

I feel like my heart is tearing between long term ministry and the parents immediate view of the several years their children will spend in the "youth group". I want to provide a wide range of spiritually centered programs and events but I do not want to compromise my ministry with activities for the sake of keep kids there. I want to give my full focus to all aspects of every age group, but I feel myself turning into one enormous eye with no hands to work out what I see. I want to plan long down the road but I get snagged on branches in front of my feet. I want to create an environment where people are needed throughout their spiritual and physical growth within the kingdom of God. I feel like I'm about to explode with all the ideas, plans, visions and wants for the youth of this county let alone this small community of believers.

I knew going into this whole ministry 'thing' that it would be hard to convey the "big picture" to people and yet still keep their patience and attention through the years. I'm hurt by people's lack of vision and shortsighted view of the kingdom. I'm not angery at the church of my Christ nor am I frustrated per say with how things are going, maybe this post is in some way a plea for ideas and help.

The continuing, not so short, story of Thomas and Klara.

2009-12-10T09:37:00.000-08:00

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over."

Thomas blinked rapidly from the glare coming from the gold locket he gave to Klara that morning. Somehow knowing exactly how much time had past Thomas quickly stood up, throwing crumbs, silverware and paper to the wind. Birds slowly began chirping as if annoyed with the disturbance being made of their otherwise peaceful Sunday afternoon. Thomas knew that he was all ready late for the counsel meeting and Edgar would be waiting for him steaming as usual. "Honey I told you to wake me up in a half hour", Thomas tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice but failed. Klara was just stirring, also having fell asleep with him. What started out as a quiet pick nick in the meadow turned into a cat nap lasting for several hours. Thomas scanned his surroundings for threats and possibly anomalies. "Anomalies, who thinks like that? Capitan James T Kirk maybe, but surely not me, right?" Sense his recent encounter on key and the injection of the mites, Thomas was beginning to see everything like a computer. Everything was calculated and projected, discrepancies were dealt with and factored out. He knew the by now the mites have embedded themselves deep in his brain stem and spinal cord, speeding up reflexes, fine tuning his central nervous system and organizing his brain like some massive external hard drive. Allready he could feel the very "presence" of wireless signals, communications, cell phone, video and satellite feeds buzzed around his head like an annoying fly. Thomas slowly ran his hands through his rough shoulder length hair, smoothing out the knots growing in his neck. "I feel like I'm becoming a machine, I run when others call and I do what I'm told without question." The reason Thomas was so tired was because last night he had spent the whole evening with the king's counsel trying to adjust supply lines and the figure the amount of protection needed. Apparently pirates have been attacking spice ships jumping in and out before the hired protector vessels could even respond. It took several hours just trying to reassure the spice guild that the Guardian's would now assume their protection. "What is the point of all of this if I cannot enjoy being human? I mean I cant just give up on life just because of my duties." Urging Thomas to come back down to earth Klara rose on one elbow and moved a strand of hair away from Thomas' face. Klara girlishly planted a kiss on Thomas' cheek "I don't know what you do Mr. Mystery, but your with me right now. So right now I own you, but what I hope is that your mind might come along with it," Klara looked off into the mountains that rose high above the meadow. "I have told you about those mountains?" Klara had Thomas' full attention now, Thomas wished that he could command people's attention as easily as she could control his. "No I don't think you have ever told me," Thomas felt a sting of pain at the reminder that he could never tell her what exactly he did or who he was for fear of the knowledge destroying all they have made together.

"Once there were was bluster berry farmer," don't laugh this is a good story with a quick apology Klara continued," anyway, he loved his wife but she she could not conceive a child. every time a ship came into the city he would go and try and find a remedy from some far off part of the country to cure his wife. for years he would travel to and fro from city to city searching for a remedy. Finally there came a day when he traveled so far that he did not come back and for weeks the wife worried about her husband and sent letters to the cities searching for him. Finally, succumbed with intense grief, for she thought her husband had died on the long road to the city, she died. The next day the husband came home to find his love dead and he was tempted to end his own life just then. However, the farmer knew how much his wife loved life and with tears in his eyes the farmer buried her in his fields where her soul could give birth to Bluster berry plants year after year; and the farmer's field grew and grew until it took up most of the earth. When the farmer was old and gray and he was about to die, a young man asked him "what did you learn from all your years old man?" he answered, remembering all his hapy years with his wife, "I learned that you'll lose everything you have searching for something you've had the entire time." the old farmer died that night and the young man, being a son of a friend, buried him in the middle of his field. After many years a great mountain range grew out of the ground and gave shade to the fields of bluster berry farms. and the old farmer and his wife were reunited and all was well."

Trying to joke but failing miserably Thomas asked, "what are you trying to tell me?"

Holding up his chin Klara looked deep into his eyes, "You're going to lose me if you keep trying to make ways to keep me."

"Does she know?" thought Thomas, "thats impossible, I've been so good keeping this a secret from her." The side of Thomas that wanted to stay here and give up everything said, "your going to have to tell her someday, I mean come on, your about to be in a lottery to marry somebody else. Even if you don't marry this princess your going to leave this planet within 36 hours, what are you going to do then, send a card?"

"I love you Thomas," Klara said softly, she must have noticed the internal struggle going on inside of him.

"I love you too Klara." Thomas could feel the lid closing around his heart knowing the full impact of the promise he just made to her. He could hear the roar of disagreement rising from the counsel floor. Somewhere deep inside he realized that the Guardian King, the most powerful man on 15 planets, just proclaimed his undying love for a common woman and nobody back home will be happy about this. But on the outside he couldn't stop smiling.

Slow dance

2009-12-09T09:17:00.000-08:00

We're goin down

and you can see it too

We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

-John Mayer

I was listening to this song last night and it got me thinking as to what type of relationship we have with the world that wraps around us so tightly. In a class I was teaching on Wednesday a girl asked me how you can not be friends with the world. We had just been reading out of James where it says that if you have a friendship with the world then you have an enemy with God. It was hard for me to draw a line in the sand for her because even I have become so blurred in my perception of God and of the world. At first i wanted to tell her that the world cannot be the main influence in her life, then I wanted to tell her friendship with the world means to attach yourself to the world therefore you must have no attachment here. In the end I told her that the closer you get to God the harder it is going to be for you and the world to be friends. I feel like my own Christian walk is like slow dancing to fast music. I'm constantly off beat and stumbling over my own feet, do you know what I mean? Is it God that gives us the dance floor and the music we dance to given by the world? What is to truly be a friend to God and yet not be in a difficult relationship with the world I must live in today? I look at Abraham who was actually called a friend of God. I can imagine him showing up at God's birthday parties, having guy nights together, you know? Doing all the things friends do together. However, when I look at his life I see only one thing that clearly separates him from everybody else; he unquestionably, irrevocably, undeniably cast his lot with God instead of the world he lived in. From giving Lot the first choice of the land, to leaving Ur and Haran, to sacrificing his own son; Abraham's trust in God was not just seen in his prayers and words but also through his actions towards others outside his tent. Are you slow dancing in a burning room? do you want to take in every second of life while refusing to accept the truth that the room you’re in, that this world around us is quickly going to be destroyed? Just imagine what it would be like to be in heaven and see God smile at you and then in a smooth voice call you his friend.

Story of Jacob

2009-12-04T11:54:00.001-08:00

“Master your son has heard of your illness and has hastened to visit you,” with a curt bow the servant exited the tent and walked across the dusty clearing and disappeared behind another tent.

“Good” replied the tired old man

Jacob had never felt so tired in his whole life. The last few days have been long haunting. Faintly he remembered the long journey he made from Beersheba to Paddan-Aram; however, he had the incentive of an angry brother to drive him quickly through the country. He remembered the confusion of the dream but the vivid imagery would forever be seared in his memory. The sound of the angel’s heavy breathing as they climbed the latter up and down and up and down again. The sight of heaven and the look of the ladder descending to earth, all so real and yet unreal at the same time. If only I knew the full meaning and depth behind the vow I made.

In a meadow, a world away, a much younger man was on his knees apparently out of breath and showing the marks and bruises of someone much older than himself. “God” the trembling lips were not confident or loud; instead the voice was sacred and tired. One would think that when talking to God you should stand and yell your request to God like he might be deaf in one ear or something. This man could not summon the strength to stand let alone look in the direction of heaven. “If…. if you help on this path that I am on and you deliver me safely to my destination, God?” Could he even make a request to God at this point? Would God listen to a deceiver a liar a sinner? Loneliness and despair invaded Jacob’s heart and began marching death and depression around his mind and heart. Invisible roots and vines began to ensnare and trap him, around and around weaving into his skin, his clothing, his eyes and mouth. “Please bring me back God, bring me back in peace.” Peace was not what he was feeling; peace was the exact opposite of what was in him. Fear of his brother finding him, and at any moment rushing from under the shade or those trees and killing him like some wounded animal. Could it be that bad, I do deserve whatever hatred he must have for me, I deserve to die here and now. I deserve to be forgotten for what I have done to my brother, my father. Almost in a whisper “Then you will be my LORD God and I,” could I actually uphold my end of this covenant? Then again I will most likely not see the morning, “I will be your man.” Peace. Nothing but quiet was the response. Even the birds and wind, with their silence, recognized the power and grace of the covenant that was struck just then. Jacob found no resistance when he lifted his head, no vines ensnaring him. Nothing was heard but the sound of heart beating against his chest; every thump..thump….thump was a reassurance that God not only listened but he accepted. It wasn’t till years later that Jacob realized that it was in God’s acceptance that the truly hard trials awaited.

Time as a Tornado

2009-12-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

It's amazing that another year has pass and gone with the same speed as teenager riding a shopping cart down a hill in a Wal Mart parking lot. It is even more striking that this year, like no other year, has gone by like a tornado; changing everything about me and my relationship with everybody. I feel like Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt in the last scene of twister, where they are holding on to the pipe that happens to be anchored to the core of the earth while everything around them is destroyed. All of the elements in a tornado, when docile are unseen, unnoticed and not dangerous but when stirred they become violent and threatening. Time when it goes, goes often unnoticed but when you try and hold on gets violent and threatening. not because of its nature but because of your stance towards it; like a picture that in one position looks like a young girl and when you turn it upside down it becomes a picture of an old woman. this last year was my first year I have ever spent attached to another person in an intimate relationship, marriage. All I know thus far is that I know nothing about what it means to love as God loves me. My wife loves with an immense intensity, towards myself, our family and strangers. This gives me such a small glimpse of what God means to love others, not because of how they love you but because of how God loves you. Do we hold on to time like a lifeline from a sinking ship? Do we have a death grip on a cord that should ensure our safety, but in reality it ensures our destruction? I love what this last year has given me, my wife, my job, my ministry, and as I look forward, as we all look forward to this coming year; smile, for God loves you with an unbearable love. A love that is strong, merciful, compassionate, and full.

Indestructible bubbles

2009-11-19T12:59:00.000-08:00

What has been your experience with small groups or life transformation groups (LTG)? What have been your trouble and your rewards? How do your small groups or LTGs differ from the rest? Looking at where the church has been and some of the decisions that it has made in order to adapt and survive, I wonder where small group’s stand? Are small groups the future of the churches of Christ? Will they be the main ministries and avenues for the church to reach the un-churched? I have seen small groups take on many forms and many directions but they seem to be here to stay. I feel that small groups can serve a very important role in our congregation’s ability to remain relevant and personal. It is becoming more and more common that families are constructing bubbles around their homes and personal lives. These bubbles are constructed so thoroughly that they are becoming harder and harder to bust. For the sake of fellowship and personal interaction these bubbles must be taken down and I believe small groups do just the thing. We must stop living our lives so independently from each other that we become embarrassed when we invite one another into each other’s homes. I believe that small groups remind us that we are a part of bigger family and that we hold responsibility to the greater body of Christ. However, we must continue to be challenging and very much real with one another. as both leaders and learners we have to push our comfort zones, challenge our presuppositions of the bible, and merge with one another in our love and passion for the community in which we live in.

cybernetic zombies

2009-11-17T17:54:00.000-08:00

Why do we as men love action and fighting movies so? I mean when I think of all of my favorite movies, most if not all of them are action movies. The closest I could come to a romantic movie that made my top ten was Pearl Harbor with Kate Beckinsale and Ben Affleck. I love the idea of old school, knights in shining armor rescuing his beautiful love interest from mystical dragons of the past to cybernetic zombies sent from the future. Some of the things that God has built in us men continue to surprises me more and more; we as man actually want to be a man. Not just a man for mans sake, but to be a man for the sake of our wives and for the sake of our God. I always thought that leadership required dominance and therefore to be a man meant to be above or over everything and everybody. Instead, I am finding that leadership and dominance are not connected and it is submission and humility that are bedfellows and it is they that should become our shields and helmets. With the heart of love, courage, and understanding we have nothing to fear, no flying dragon terminator zombie from the past can stand between us and the man God wants us to be.

I'll be smiling in 2013

2009-11-17T09:52:00.000-08:00

Well I guess I might as well jump on the 2012 band wagon before all of the seats are taken up. In as little words as possible the movie 2012 was like every other end of the word story Hollywood has ever come up with. What strikes home with me is that one woman’s sister here in Simi Valley believed that she received a vision from God telling her to sell everything and move to Jerusalem because Jesus is coming back soon. I wonder if we go through these violent cycles because we feel that we do have an expiration date. I read an article a while ago about Y2K and the author said that every generation on earth has believed at one point that the world would end during their time. Yet the world continues to spin and defy all the prophets and seers expectations. The movie it’s self was very entertaining, I mean come on how awesome is it to watch all of Southern California slide off into the ocean. The acting was horrible absolutely awful, but what do you expect when every five minutes one of the characters has to say goodbye to their child for an additional ten minutes of tearful agony. All in all I am so glad that trust in God, though it is hard and lifelong, helps us to realize that God is in control of both the earth and our future.

Adventures of coffee

2009-11-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

I love coffee, in fact I love the feeling I get when I drink coffee, especially on a cold day. Is there anything better than sitting on a porch hearing the cold rain beat helplessly on the roof while drinking a hot cup of smooth caffeinated beverage? The coffee almost acts as a protective ward against the cold as if it was the cold itself you are fighting against. When you are frigid and icy, drink a warm soothing coffee and feel the spidery web of heat and comfort spread throughout your ice clogged pipelines piercing every crook and cranny in your body. Feel the furnace of contentment hitch on your internal subway system bringing with it the satisfaction of energy and renewed purpose to all your cells.

I remember when I was a child attending bible camp up in the high Sierra Nevada’s, I loved the mornings. The dew covered everything like frosted icing, capturing trees and benches in its magical spell. I remember waking up and seeing my own breath escaping from the cracks of my sleeping bag like a dragon’s breathe billowing from a deep cave below the earth. If I got out of bed I believed that the cold would get me and all the warmth I had worked all night to accumulate would all be lost on the frozen tundra of the morning. Putting my fear aside I leaped from my bunk and as quickly as could I gather all my warm clothing and wrapped them around me like a protective cloak against the bitter winter chill I knew was awaiting for me outside the door. Slowly I walked from the cabin to the cafeteria, capturing as much as I could of the wintry scenery being laid down before me. When I entered the building I saw several adults standing around a mystical, power enduing liquid dispenser that they couldn’t seem to pull themselves away from. I, being the young intrepid boy, was too embarrassed to enter their fellowship, so I stood in the shadows and waited for the warmth to return to me. However, as silent as I tried to be one woman saw me alone on the bench shivering in my 13 layers of thanksgiving patterned sweaters, my step dads XX2 long sleeve shirts, old sweats and my long johns, she gathered me under her arms and ushered me into the magical ring of adults. Though I could hear the laughing being held under their breath I was more entranced by the container on the table. What is? What does it taste like? Nasty, bitter, sweet, tasty? Will it is give me bad breath or make me smell better? I didn’t feel the cup that she pushed into my hands, I didn’t feel here push the cup to my lips and spill the contents into my open mouth. However, I felt, no I experienced the taste of my first cup of warm, delicate, delicious coffee. I could feel my insides begin to waken and turn, I could hear the motors in my head begin to spin and whirl and forever after that moment I knew nothing would ever be the same.

Save us from ourselves

2009-11-11T13:55:00.001-08:00

I have recently finished reading through the Sci-fi trilogy by C. S. Lewis, beginning with “Out of the Silent Planet”, “Perelandra”, and His Hideous Strength”, and I must say it was quite different than what I expected. To go further, I really don’t know what I did expect when I began this very complicated but very inspiring novel. The first two books are astonishing in their following story of Ransom; both if you’re reading them together or if you’re reading them individually. The third book, however, was too often over my head in it analogies and storytelling. Through most of the book I had to reread the cover to make sure I was not reading Lord of the Rings. His Hideous Strength was awesome in its truths about marriage and especially how God views the relationships between man and wife and everybody else.

Especially the second book, “Perelandra”, caught my interest out of the three. This book introduces Ransom to the world of Perelandra (Venus) in its infancy, without sin and without corruption. Just like the Garden of Eden there are two and only two people created on this world, the King and the Queen. What I appreciated the most about this book is how the author was able to describe the quality and innocence of the inhabitants on the planet, which was focused exclusively through Ransoms interaction with the Queen, sense the King is not to be found. In this world Ransom finds out just what Earth is missing out on and just how much humanity has lost when it fell into sin. Not only is there no shame in his nakedness nor any hint of lust for the Queen (she's naked too), but there is perpetual youth found in living in a pure and innocent environment. The author associates the very fact that we age so fast and our life seems so small to what sin and temptation has done to us. Ransom spends several months with the Queen trying to figure out why he was sent there, when a space craft enters their paradise bringing with it the embodiment of evil and temptation. Ransom is proven inadequate in fighting against such cruel logic and deadly sin, and no matter how “right” his arguments or how desperate his pleas become for the queen to stop listening to the tempter, the Queen continues to listen. This simple truth is powerful it actually frightening to me. All the time, do I feel like I have no power to overcome evil in other people’s lives, let alone my own. The Devil our accuser does such marvelous job in making us feel incredibly insufficient in defending ourselves or our God. However, God does not see us through our own eyes, thank God, he sees us through his eyes, through which we become more than capable, instead, we become conquerors. Finally Ransom understands that the only way for the woman to have a chance at remaining free he would have to physically destroy the tempter. Again this is an awesome truth because for all of the tempter’s eloquent use of word and his demonic aura, he is still limited to worldly barriers whereas God is not so limited. This is something that we MUST remind ourselves, the world is limited, temporal, and finite and it is God that is limitless and omnipotent. If we were left to our own devices, well... we've seen what we are capable of doing under our own devices. What I learned from this book and what i have learned from C.S. Lewis so far is that God has done everything, he has given everything, he is willing to spend the most and travel the furthest in order to save us from ourselves.

Hard not to Hate

2009-11-06T11:57:00.000-08:00

It seems so impossible that so much hate can consolidate on such a small planet. It is a wonder that we have allowed ourselves to continue existing for so long let alone making God destroying us yet again. I wonder what life was like for Noah when he read the papers and watch the “news”, did he feel like killing himself because of the lack of hope or lack love or lack compassion. I know those things (hope, love, compassion) exist but it hurts to know that the average person does not get the chance to hear those things. I wonder if Noah was close to insanity by the time he got on the ark. I wonder if he ran up the passage way to get on the ark as soon as he could because he could no longer take it. I see a wave of destructive, bigots, racists, emotionally charged people willing to eat each other alive willing to tear at one another’s throats because of what their “righteous” beliefs compel them to. I hate the fact that others represent my Christ so wrongfully and so full of judgmental hate. I hate that people call for tolerance and then threaten anybody’s views that contradicts their own.

It is so hard not to hate, almost impossible to refuse destruction in a self destructive world. Sometimes the power and the hate in this present reality overwhelm me and allow me no glimpse of the world I am being pulled to. Like somebody being pulled out of a sinking ship, I feel the freezing water cover my whole body; I can actually see the icy grips of rage and apocalypse drag me down. The only warmth I feel is from the hand that is firmly and tightly pulling me, dragging me, ripping me from the gallows of animosity and from the depth frigid apathy. Truly, it is amazing how something can seem so impossibly warm when the whole body has become numb from the cold.

If it could cure cancer

2009-11-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

How important is singing to you? How often do you just do it? Do you do it only when you are in the shower or at church? Singing, to me, is how I get spiritually fed. There is nothing I love more than being able to express my thoughts, prayers, blessings and praise to my God through the voice God has given me. To hear that same praise that is escaping my own mouth and also the mouths of all my brothers and sisters, to know that we are saying the same God-pleasing words, encourages me to no end. Even on a completely non spiritual level, scientific studies have proven that those who sing have a lower heart rate, decreased blood pressure and greatly reduced stress levels. It seems then that God created us to sing not only to bless him and others but also to bless ourselves. I remember when I was young in the youth group and this girl started coming to classes and bible studies. She befriended everybody almost immediately, she had, and has now, the most beautiful spirit about her, she was a born servant and an amazing encourager, the only problem with her was she could not carry a tune if it could cure cancer. She would be the first to tell you that too; however, it never stopped her from proclaiming her love for her God, no matter how many people she carried off tune. To see the heart of someone so willing to praise God regardless of how she sounds to others or how others think of her singing; it is both humbling and greatly reaffirming. It humbles us in how we think others hear us when only God is listening, and it affirms our God’s love in hearing us just praising him with what we have. If any of you has ever met Tara Pipes, to say that she has a poor voice is the last thing, if ever, that you would notice in a worship experience with her. The fact that God wants to hear us is such a blessing, is such a great task that we must throw down our assumption of what we sound like and presuppositions of what is culturally acceptable.

I believe that we should become like sunflowers. We should adapt, twist, and turn with the direction of the sun (double meaning, get it?) not because we can or should but because me must to survive. Praising God throughout the day and night, lifting your face in his direction. It frightens me so much that some youth groups have stopped singing for fear of actually repelling people; instead, singing should be that which draws the people to the family. Not because it sounds good, but because the man dying of thirst needs water to survive so does the human soul need words to praise the God that created all things.

Does Prayer Work?

2009-10-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.soulpancake.com/view_post/1443013/does-prayer-work.html

The Wild Things are Everywhere

2009-10-28T09:47:00.001-07:00

Not only did I just watch this movie but wife just purchase this book for me on my birthday. I remember reading this as a child amazed at the imagination of the author. Every child would love to be king of their own world, in charge of other monsters, demanding their respect and submission. However, as the inevitable happened, and I grew up I come closer to understanding the truth and the sadness in this story. Are we raising a generation that after finding no love, attention, instruction, or respect, they must create their own world in order to satisfy thier desire for friendship, authority and love? Must we create our own friends and community in order to experience a real community? Are we so incapable of connecting with our own family that we must adopt the world to fill that void? If anything this movie reminds me how hard childhood was, not like I was raised in a slum or a third world nation, but I remember the gaping hole of loneliness that would just drive me crazy until I created my own world to play and feel accepted in. Week after week I see (I work next to a junior high) that the wild things have not disappeared or have been removed they are now everywhere. Teenager after teenager (who are now become young adults) are asking the same question, what is community? What does a "real love" even feel like? What is my family and what makes up my family? Questions that long ago answered themselves but now go unanswered and the world does not even try. But again what I hate the most about the world is what I love the most about God, the world cannot know what community, friendship, love and respect is; the world only sees the perverted slightly skewed look of those things. Yet, God not only knows those things but he has given authority to his body, his church, his people to BE those things to each other and to offer THAT to individuals of the world. The greatest form of success is to produce and maintain in each other an actual community, our little part of the kingdom, a real thriving nurturing compassionate…..pile.

The Power of Fellowship

2009-10-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am continually amazed that God calls us to fellowship with one another for the purpose of building and strengthening not only the church but also the Kingdom of God. It is such a small thing that we so often take this amazing gift for granted. And it is a gift, a good gift given by our father who not only loves us but deeply cares for our spiritual and physical well being. I wonder how we would expand the kingdom without the vital role that fellowship plays. Fellowship being more than just “hanging out”, or playing games; it is the core to our connection with one another through our common savior. This is the key, the one truth, and it gives our “hanging out” and game playing validation on a spiritual level. And that is where I believe fellowship has its full impact. There is something to being just a simple companion and friend to somebody else for the only reason that they share the same common goal and God, as you. And because you share that truth there is a connection that can and does exist between you that is not found in the natural world. I am at this College advance with 24 other people that I would never know let alone fellowship with if not for the Christ that entangles us. Fellowship is pure, bright, and completely filling. It is something that can charge the soul for a whole year and it is something that consumes you entirely, it is a deadly infection and a gracious cure, it a sore problem to have and relieving solution to come across.

Bewteen Heaven and Earth there is Nevada City, CA

2009-10-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

Right now I am up in beautiful Grass Valley, CA having mocha with my wife at the broad street bistro. The greatest theme I see around me is how great and loving God is to me a simple person. I know that God loves me just like I know that my mom loves me. He has to, you know he is your dad; it's kind of his job. But now I feel that God not only loves me but he also likes me, like your best friend likes you. This is a concept that strikes me hard because if God likes me he then wants the best for me in the simple small things and not only in the bigger picture type of things. If this article is confusing you I am truly sorry because I wish to convey this amazing truth and it is simply escaping me. To put it as simple as I can, God likes me and right now I see that all around me. The warming sun is out bathing the lazy clouds in light and trees are swaying to a breeze I can feel but I cannot see. People are laughing around me, my stomach is full and I have the companionship of the greatest person in my life right next to me reading under the shade of big oak tree.

Terms of Success

2009-10-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

What is your goal or what is your vision that once accomplished you would then declare success. I imagined success being a mighty hill that I would have to climb or a river I must cross though the current is to strong. I want success to be unreachable, something I can look at and then despair because of the impossibility of it yet strive on because of sheer courage. I love the cliché movies that start with a ragtag group of athletes and then they throw in a messed up coach that teaches them life lessons; by the end you have the most elite team ever seen on the face of the planet. We love insurmountable odds, innumerable foes, and impossible terrain; however, in real life we neglect to celebrate the small goals and the small victories that with the grace and power of God we have accomplished. I challenge us to set those high and dangerous goals, make your visions as great as the stars themselves, come on, we worship the God that created those stars. Let us remind ourselves that it was God who said that he would never deny us anything. I also challenge us to not take the small goals and the small visions for granted.

Hit or miss

2009-10-20T09:38:00.001-07:00

Man this weekend was awesome. On Friday we had our first everyone’s Birthday Party for Everyone. Sense a lot of our birthdays fall during the fall months any ways we decided to celebrate every body’s birthday. Everyone brought a cheap gift and we had a gift exchange. It was awesome because we had this in a non-members home and we were able to introduce the family to our group. Before the gift exchange happened I was introduced to 3 Guinea pigs and a dog that is not only the size of my step dad but also looks a lot like him.

On Sunday I took 4 guys to the Santa Paula Area wide youth devotional which I spoke at that was both encouraging and a growing experience for me. My general definition of a devotional is a time where we can spend a lot of time singing, like 45 minutes at least, and then have a short encouraging thought to challenge everyone. Here, a devotional means a party with random singing, crazy activities and then a lesson (I wrote down the words to the songs they were singing and then read it back to them in the form of a poem). God has taught me that most devotionals will always be a hit or miss, especially when doing it with different youth groups. Again, it was encouraging to be around that many diverse youth groups and youth workers.

All in all it was a blast but I have never been more excited about the work week. On Thursday we leave for Grass Valley and then Tahoe for the Grass Valley college advance. God bless you and know that he has blessed me more than I deserve.

The IPhone and Christ

2009-10-16T13:07:00.001-07:00

Has technology killed the youth group? For the last several years in and among youth group around the country I get this overwhelming feeling the technology is crippling our youth group’s ability to be relational. First, I must say that technology in itself is neutral and therefore not the boogie man that we should be scared of and throwing our stones at. Our fear of challenging people to step out of their protective IPod clad cone of silence, this is the true enemy. I wonder what problems Jesus would pick at if he were here today. I wonder if our senseless use of abortion, our greedy government, or our inability to connect with others would be the topic of Jesus’ parables. Satan is doing a good job isolating everybody even though we are constantly surrounded with people at work, at school and even church. When we put on our noise proof, relationship retarding headphones in and live our days completely detached from people and reality, we are dissolving any chance to build and grown beyond our own minds. To grow, it is so important that we listen and hear what everyone has to say. It is important that we view life not as a volume switch that we can just turn up when we want to shut off; instead, view life as an art work with contrasting colors and beautiful images that if alone it would mean nothing but together it means everything.

2009-10-14T13:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I have poor expectations of Jesus and what he can actually do for me and to me. What I mean by that is I put Jesus in a box of my own design and then treat him like he is only capable of doing what I ask him to do. As most of us do, when those expectations are not met we blame God for not being there or not loving us as much as he promised he would. Jesus is great, not only because of all the insight, the miracles, or the teachings he gave, Jesus is great because is the Son of God. He will constantly blow through all of our boxes that we put him in and he will always out do everything we can possible hope or imagine. In the case of the story of Lazarus we find out that God will never fit our molds. Jesus challenges them, and through them he challenges us, about their view of death and life and then he exposes their expectations of resurrection, miracles, and the Glory of God. I don’t know how you see God or what you believe God is capable of doing. What I do know is that God is great and his son is the most important person to grace this earth. Jesus, in the here and now, is able to transform, he has the capability to save, and he is willing that everybody comes to the knowledge of the God who sent him. Here are some quotes that do better than I in conveying the simple greatness of Jesus Christ.

"Jesus of Nazareth, without money and arms, conquered more millions than Alexander the Great, Caesar, Mohammed, and Napoleon; without science and learning, He shed more light on things human and divine than all philosophers and scholars combined; without the eloquence of school, He spoke such words of life as were never spoken before or since, and produced effects which lie beyond the reach of orator or poet; without writing a single line, He set more pens in motion, and furnished themes for more sermons, orations, discussions, learned volumes, works of art, and songs of praise than the whole army of great men of ancient and modern times." —Philip Schaff

"I know men; and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between him and every person in the world there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded empires. But on what did we rest the creations of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded his empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him." —Napoleon Bonaparte

"Jesus painted no pictures. Yet some of the greatest paintings of Raphael, Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci received their inspiration from Him. Jesus wrote no poetry; but Dante, Milton, and scores of the world's greatest poets were inspired by Him. Jesus composed no music; but Haydn, Handel, Beethoven, Bach, and Mendelssohn reached their highest perfection in the symphonies and oratorios they composed in His praise. Every sphere of human greatness has been influenced by this humble carpenter of Nazareth!" —Henry Ward Beecher

God loves you in spite of you

2009-10-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

There is nothing that you can do that will make God love you less. I use the word “make” because we try to make God prove himself wrong in his love towards us. I don’t know if it’s human nature or just the nature of sin in this world. It almost like we cannot believe that God loves us this much. What I don’t get is that life is hard, at times unbearably so, and yet we try our best to spurn the one person that loves us the most. I have recently watched the Nooma video that said as much. At first I thought that we would openly rejoice to the idea that a loving deity/friend/brother would dedicate himself to us like that. Instead, we fight for the sake of our own pride, our own ability to navigate our lives. Maybe the real problem is lost control or maybe the accountability we might be giving up if we were to accept this amazing unbelievably gracious gift.

However we package the gift, the contents, the truth remains unmoving and unshakably the same. No matter how hard you try, no matter how stubborn the heart; there is nothing that you can do that will make God love you any less.

Ignorance killed the chicken

2009-10-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

People confuse tolerance and respect with acceptance. As a worker in the body of Christ I am challenged daily with proving what I believe to others around me. The more I do this the more people around accept my faith as their own which can be a very big problem. I want to challenge all people to figure this stuff out. I recently asked a group of people what would happen to them if Jesus came back tonight? As i expected I got a lot of "I don't knows", and "I hope this or that". I then asked what would happen to you if Mohammed came back or if Buddha decided to return again. We live in a land of apathy and are currently experiencing the emergence of a is-there-a-truth nation that is completely ok with going through their entire life riding this imaginary religious fence of indecision. The reality of it(thank you Chris Johnson) is that no one lives or acts as if there is no truth; we all know that there is something that is going to happen to us after we die. This is where I get really piffed, people continue to live in ignorance of other religions including their own. I pray that we as workers and teachers in the body of Christ can encourage the people we teach to gather information for themselves. May we be so bold as to teach and to learn how to feed ourselves. I hope people will know of Christ because of the proof and evidence they have discovered.

Ventura Youth Forum

2009-10-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

http://venturachurchofchrist.org/mp3/YouthForum09/Vta%20YF%2010-3-09%20Joe%20Tipps.mp3

When your crazy you just might be teaching Junior High

2009-10-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

Before we get into this you must know that I do not hate Jr. highers, actually, I rather adore them. I mean Jr. high was that one time in all of our lives that we all experienced changes, both of our bodies and our personality. The awkward zits the breaking voices, the crazy wardrobe choices, and of course our ridiculous hair styles, how could we not look back on those times without misty eyes. Now that I have grown up and moved onto the advanced stages of teenage hood and young adultville I have found out that Jr. Highers are crazy. Trying to command the attention of just three 7 and 8 graders makes stopping a hurricane with a portable fan feel like origami. I feel like I’m trying to herd goldfish through an invisible hoop whilst jumping through a life size Chinese finger catcher that just so happens to be on fire. Again I must tell you that I do not hate preteens and their entire psycho anti maturity death rays that they seem to have, rather I appreciate them differently that you might expect from a youth worker. I know that for generations many churches have mixed the Jr. high with the High schoolers hoping that with the help of the older more mature people might have an effect on their younger peers. I have learned however that if you mix these two age groups the maturity level does not level out on the high school level. Instead, the maturity level limits right above the 8th grade level. So I ask for your prayers and your recommendations for a mild yet long lasting sedative. God bless.

Family, Friends, and Enemies

2009-10-02T10:06:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I am speaking at my first youth rally here in SoCal. To tell you the truth I am rather nervous but very excited to once again be in front of teens sharing the word of God. Ever sense I decided that I wanted to be a missionary I always wondered what should be the perfect balance between nervous, confidence and downright fear of what you are about to say? So many preachers have told me that after year and years of doing this they still fill the nervous twitch every time they step up to the plate (pulpit). Every time I get the twitch and the stomach lurch I feel a wave of humility come over me. However, I do feel that the more I prepare the more confident I am but no matter how long I study I still get the bug in the pit of my stomach. I wonder if Jeremiah ever got nervous, or if Isaiah had to throw up before one of his orations in front of the nation, or if Amos passed out 1 or 2 times before he got out his message before the rulers of Israel. If anything what I appreciate the most about preaching and sharing thoughts about scripture with the body of Christ, it is the constant reminder that not only am I human but so is the friends and family that I’m speaking to. I pray that we all find confidence in God’s message; also, I hope that we never forget our humanity and the humanity of our family, our friends and our enemies that we speak to.

Revival

2009-09-28T15:02:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I had the extreme privilege of spending the day with my amazing sister and brother in-law at Pismo beach in southern California. Sense living in Texas for 3 years I hope to take any excuse to spend any time at the beach or any large body of water for that matter. It was quite refreshing to “get away” and spend time with my wife just having fun. I have been here in Simi Valley for 2 months now and it feels like I have been here a lifetime. I absolutely love the mission work here, it is challenging, it is important and it is rewarding. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.

Somewhere between frustration and joy there is Coldplay

2009-09-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

Youth work is interactive. What I mean is that if you wanted to you could quite easily disconnect from the actual problems these people are suffering with and just stick to the class prep and activities, and none would be the wiser. To rephrase it better, youth work must be interactive. I am finding more and more teens surprised that someone spiritual would actually want to know what is happening in their life and then apply Christ in an healing way. I must admit I believed that I would be most frustrated with the people’s lack of faith or lack of understanding; however, what frustrates me the most is people’s infectious apathy for everything. Life no longer contains real viable joy; it now only contains momentary happy events that sustain you from one smiling picture to the next. As I am sitting in Starbucks I want to scream at the top of my lungs, IS THIS ALL YOU WANT? IS THIS WHAT LIFE IS TO YOU? I wish I had the ability to fix people like the song by Coldplay. I see so many families, people, friends, children, sons, and daughters hoping that someone will give them a magic serum that would fix all their problems. And it breaks my heart that the one thing that could is the one thing they will not accept.

2009-09-16T10:11:00.001-07:00

ministry pains (literal)

2009-09-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today I have burned through day light laying in bad recovering from a sprained ankle. As horrible as that is I am thankful that I put myself in the position so that was possible. One of the hardest parts of full time ministry is making yourself open. You don’t want to open yourself to be used as a tool but you do want to make yourself approachable and useable. Finding the balance is hard but necessary. Another aspect of this is that the more you make yourself open the more likely you will be hurt for fear of inadequacy or keeping the pain of ministry inside. I wish I could give some insightful scripture or a smart encouraging note, but I can’t. Ministry is worth the pain and worth the time. Keeping yourself open and keeping yourself available to the opportunities that God opens up is essential to ministry. I pray that you find the harvest field and I pray that you always stay alert to the needs of the people around you.

2009-09-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

God, as always, shows me on a weekly basis just how much he is capable of doing through the smallest of means. On Sunday nights, Natalie and I are attempting to start a college group because in the past this has been a hard spot for the church to keep consistent. So we have advertized and personally approached people for the last three weeks in order to gather a following and to encourage excitement once again for a college program. From the start we have had 3 come one night, 4 will decide to attend another night. Last night only one came; now it's easy to be dissuaded and turned off to the whole thing because only one person decided to come. However, last night was one of the most powerful studies I have ever been a part of. If more people would have come I doubt that the truthfulness we shared and the life that we discussed could have happened. God is good because he challenged me to decide if something was worth doing if he only brings one person. I want the red sea to be parted and the dead to be raised in front of my eyes, but when the real miracles of lives changing and lies are revealed, I wonder if God is working. To God, he is used to splitting seas and healing the sick and stopping the sun, but I underestimate God’s love and dedication to the one who is in need of reassurance and desires the support of a brother and sister.

Truth

2009-09-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

-The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. . . . The ordinary objects of human endeavour -- property, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.

-Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.

What is truth that we should cling to it so desperately? Wouldn’t it be better for us if truth was like clay and each person could mold what they wanted to see and believe? Imagine, if you will, the very truth you created become living and breathing and made its own decisions. What if that truth denied your existence or worse denied your authority. Jesus, in the book of John, makes a crazy statement that if you abide (live) in him then you will know truth and truth will set you free. I have often wondered what truth will set me free from. Can it set me free from sin, guilt, hate, angry? Will truth help me become a better husband, father, son, minister? To really understand this statement you must read it in the context of what Jesus was saying. In John 8:24 Jesus is trying his best to convince the Jews that he is the One in whom they must believe in order to be saved. These Jews were living in a lie perpetuated by their belief that it is because of their connection to Abraham that is going to save them and not because of the Messiah’s redemptive work. Now remember, Jesus is in the minority telling the majority that they are wrong and that he is the truth. On Sunday mornings we have been going through the Old Testament account of Noah and his family. In that story we see the same dilemma, Noah is preaching the truth (minority) and no one (majority) is accepting anything he has to say. So again I ask what about truth set Noah free or set you and I free? The answer is everything. Truth sets you free from absolutely everything, because truth is not something that you can create, manipulate or destroy. In John 14:6 Jesus shows how it sets us free, it is because he IS truth. As difficult as truth can be to except it still is truth. The reason we cling to Christ as the standard of truth so desperately is because without it we are lost. Truth, The Truth gives us purpose, direction, and a foundation to base our life, morals, and consequences on. If you are tired of the lies that the world is telling you, I pray that you find and search for Truth. I pray that we as the Body of Christ never cease to show and teach Truth through our lives, our families and our message.

Noah's dilemma

2009-09-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

I underestimate the story of Noah on a daily basis. Sense childhood I have been fed this fluffy story of smiling animals entering a giant sail boat with a radiant Noah looking down from the upper deck. There is no sign of people around watching, waiting to see if he’s right or not. We don’t see any tormenting and name calling or any sign at all that Noah was having a hard time with building a boat he knew could only fit the animals and his family. Noah didn’t get any floor plans with hundreds of rooms, just the three for his son’s families and his own. I could only imagine the frustration cloud Noah’s face as he tried for 120 years to save his people, only be laughed at. I wonder if Noah actually wanted to be saved, after he gets off the ark one of his first actions is to get so drunk he passes out naked. Is it because of gladness to have survived or because they were the only ones to survive. I wonder what was worse, the one on the ground watching the ark float away or the one on the deck watching all the people doing the same. Through all of this I must remember the living nightmare God must have been enduring, to watch all of his creation destroyed. I have been sorry for many things that I have done in my life. However, to be God and to be sorry for his creation is something to big for me to grasp. I challenge you to look at this story as an actually, living story of pain, suffering and salvation.

You are not alone

2009-09-08T16:44:00.000-07:00

Noah lived in a society so bad that God found no other option than to destroy every man and everything man ever came into contact with. We believe that today we live in such a society. However, we have each other to cling to when the tide of angst, death, and apathy crash against our lives and our homes. Noah had only his family amidst a sea of hate, destruction and sin. We can stand together in our proclaiming of God’s love and judgment. Noah had no one when he was sent preaching to a world of people calling him a liar. I often underestimate the aloneness that Noah must have been going through as he was building the ark. As he tried to convince his family, his friends, and his neighbors that life would soon end for them if they did not get on the ark themselves. Remember that Noah had to convince the people around him that the ark, His ark, was the only acceptable escape route. It would have been easy to justify hog tying people and dragging them into the ark, with some help from the lions and tigers of course. Then as the destruction rains down, watch the realization hit their face that he were right and they were wrong. Sometimes we feel like we are the only ones that have the truth and the entire world is against us saying we are the lairs and sinners. Truth becomes relative to the people trying to justify their lives and facts and proofs become obscure and hard to read. However dark the world gets or how deep this culture might dig we are not merely speaking our own opinions or our own truths. If that were so the world would be right and we are to be pitied above all others. Instead, we speak the truths of God, because truth is not relative. It is exact, it’s painful at times and it hurts. I wonder if Noah was ever tempted to tell other people to build their own ark or their own boat. The truth is we have the ability to change the outcome of people’s destinies. Jesus Christ does not provide for us (mankind) many ways to survive the wrath of God. Actually, like Noah we have only the one to tell through our actions, our lives, and our message to this community. If we tell no one destruction will still come. May you remember Noah when you feel alone, when you believe that you are the only one and no other is by your side. I pray that we all discover that if our culture is against us, and if God is the only one behind us. When the whole world come crashing down around us and everything we know is proved to be false, when the world tells us we are wrong that we are inadequate, always remember that God is God and he is always enough.

Holy Crap?! (Redux)

2009-09-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

In the view and very presence of God something must change. It seems that the very nature of God demands that you cannot remain the same after you have come in contact with the one who created you. In Ex. 3:5 Moses was commanded to take off his shoes when he approached the "holy" burning bush. In the presence of God even the dirt around the bush became holy ground and therefore worthy of respect. In the presence of God Jacob became Israel, Rehab found salvation, Joseph found purpose, and when Abram's faith accounted him righteous he became Abraham. When people came in contact with Jesus or his apostles they were forever changed, some for the worse and others for the better. In Corinthians Paul calls Christ a fragrance, for some it will be bitter and for others it will be sweet.which ever sent you smell, as soon as it touches you, you will then and there be forced with the decision to react painfully or joyfully. Either reaction will change your destiny forever. For those effected positively by the fragrance a change in environment is noticed and new title and a new role in life is given. This title and role is simply called Holiness. When coming in contact with God the "thing" that changes in you is the environment of being unholy or holy. Holiness is not a thing you can touch, never was. Holiness is a purpose given to things by God. It is a new direction in which your life was originally meant to go. We live our lives going in the wrong direction and being in the dark for so long. When people came into contact with God or an angel; it makes sense that they believed they would soon die. Living as unholy has become not only accepted but expected and therefore being holy is foreign and to be shunned by the non believer (sssshhhhuuuunnnnn). Holiness is not a halo, or a glowing aura that gives you +4 to caste time. Holiness is the quality of reality in view of the eternal, having a spiritual purpose alongside a physical direction with an attitude of following God.

Rules

2009-09-04T09:35:00.001-07:00

I hated rules when I was in High School, especially the ones that the teachers never explained to us. What made it worse for me was coming home and finding out that my mother has been adding rules of her own while I was away. We live in a society of rules and laws that seem to govern everything that we do from paying tax to how you should ride your bike, from how to pay your bills to how you spend your money. right now I’m taking this course through our church called financial peace university in which we are learning all the rules that come with credit, debit, and having a lack of it. Knowing that our world is based on rules, regulations and how-things-are-done mentality, we in youth work neglect setting up any type of structure or consistency for our teens. On our first Sunday with the youth of the Simi Valley Family, Natalie and I laid down some ground rules for how we will be doing things here at "church". The feedback I got back from teens and parents alike is utter shock. No other minister they have had, had such tenacity as to lay down rules for "church". Inconsistency and lying down no guide or common law in a class room can and will spell certain failure for any ministry and especially for youth work. I beg you if you are a youth worker or want to be a youth worker, begin your work by laying down some foundation for which the teens in the ministry can begin to build their own faith on.

Future #2

2009-08-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

“no, no this is impossible. The… the key can’t be moved.” As if Thomas was made of venom, Bristol backed away from him tripping over the axe which seconds earlier was going to be used to end this war, but now can only serve as a inanimate stumbling object.

“You claim to hold all wisdom and to know all mysteries, when will you ever learn that it’s impossible. We live in the impossible.”

The once surrounded and soon to be defeated house guard was now the spear head of a new offensive which just so happened to be the Key itself. The Key, planet size mass, moved with surprising speed through the outer pickets of the asteroid’s defensive belt surrounding the conclaves massive mechanically augmented planetary home. Kinetic cannons and gravity drive projectors roared to life as salvo after salvo from the Key’s gun placements turned the conclave ships into space scrap metal.

Thomas’ neuroreciver started to pick up the crackle of the guards fast running data ship which must have broke free of the battle to find proof of their Kings continued existence. They must know by now that porting their king would prove too impossible through all the layers of interference the conclave was using to surround the palace.

“It was you wasn’t it?” more of a statement than a question.

“It was always us,” now with his back to Thomas, Bristol looked through the main palace window to get a complete grasp of the situation unfolding before his eyes

“You sent the tracker, you killed…”, Thomas couldn’t complete the sentence

“He was my brother you know. He killed me as much as I killed him.” Retorted Bristol.

“HOW can you say that? You turned his creation into…, looking around the gargantuan expanse around him , ‘into this. How many planets? How many innocent peoples” Thomas stomach lurched.

“No one is innocent Thomas. I hope I’m not the only person to tell you that during your life. Remember your precious savior is a part of this machine. When we were younger we created, we conceived something amazing. We marveled at the ability we stumbled onto. We gave life to inanimate things Thomas. Who can boast of such things? How were we to know that it would acclimate to machines first? I will not lie to you, we took the cowardly avenue and evacuated on the first transports off the planet. We were amazed at how fast it adapted.”

“You marveled? It killed millions in a matter of days. The shadows and the elders had to completely destroy the planet to eradicate the infestation.” Thomas was ready to vomit no realizing all of the cover ups and lies.

“Have the elders ever giving you a single shred of truth in your life. Of course they sent their dreaded planet killer here and they tried but we had already become too strong for them. That was when this body came back. I wanted to be a part of this again.” Spreading his arms wide as if accepting a lover back from a long separation.

“I gave them a way to survive the destructive holocaust of the killers onslaught. “

“You found a way through the gravity didn’t you?”

“Yes. We knew it would only work once but we it would work and here we have been on Kurocov rebuilding, arming, readying ourselves for the time when we would break our bonds and destroy the First Ones.“

“But I burst your bubble to early right?”

“It’s of no matter now,” waving his arms almost apologetically

At that instant Thomas disappeared then seconds later the Key and with it every Guardian ship including the damaged, disappeared.

Bristol bowed his head, his shadow gave the impression of a samurai bowing in respect to a equal.

"Master?" Asked the planets inquisition routines, "what is your prompt?"

“We move.” After several seconds of computation and several milliseconds of internal debate, ”Earth”

Future

2009-06-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

“You can’t fight this, child,” with a widening grin spreading across Bristol’s face he slowly reached for the ancient axe now laying over the shattered furniture. The boy on the floor bleed freely through the cut across the back of his head, his eyes began blinking from the glow of the steadily growing fire against the dull shine on the blade as Bristol walked toward him.

“What it is in your blood that makes your species so foolish and stubborn to not notice defeat when it slits your own throat? Is it pride, it must be pride.” Bristol muttered under his own breath as he thought to himself. “In all my years I have never witnessed a race with such potential to destroy itself time and time again. Your father is dead boy your mother also, soon your whole planet will become intimately acclimated to our conclave.” Slowly his voice began to rise. “and face it there is nothing, absolutely nothing that you can do about. The alliances you have made in the past few months will fail, I have seen it. Not in a thousand years has any force defeated us in our conquest.” Now shouting he began to circle the writhing figure on the ground. “Think! Use the logic your so called God endowed you with. If you cannot win then you must perish you MUST DIE, ALL OF YOU MUST DIE!”
Slowly, unrelenting, the boy rose on one hand then rose to one knee and with shaky unstable legs he gained his full height.

“I am my father’s son, born from my mother of the race of Humans. I am the last AEther King, Commander of the house guard and the only holder of the Key. I will fight you Bristol. I will fight because I finally know my name, I’ve always know my name. I am Thomas, and I am your defeat.”

As the blast waves from the battle outside hit the stations air dock, Bristol knew that it could only mean one thing. The Guardians were getting closer than he expected. With a fast glance through the dock port he thought he could barely make out the Vyborg Spheres firing on what could only be the Guardian force trying vainly to save their precious King. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the scene he saw something he never thought was possible. The Key had arrived… to save its master.

2009-04-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 9:"inevitable"

Mysteries are like mistakes no one catches, did they exist in the first place. Charlie thought that his world revolved around the sun every 360 day and rotated 360% every 24 hours. The universe a once empty void of radiation and unfathomable planets, solar systems and just space seemed like a child’s dream. It’s amazing how swiftly and completely one’s life can change. A child’s parents taken in a blink of an eye, a job once secure now crumples. Empires rise and as swiftly sift through the strainer of time. And Old king loses his little girl to the age of adulthood and soon marriage. An old man realizes he cannot outrun the lies of his past or the truth of his future. A hunter, about to catch his prey, finds more trouble than he was paid for. All of these truths are meant to change and entirely turn the table of reality. For as the shores of earth have long sense known, the tides will always come back.

Holy Crap?!

2009-02-13T14:05:00.000-08:00

2008-12-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 8:"The Walker"

Red was a weathered old paramedic. He had been doing it for 30 years now. Like his father before him he enlisted in the military as soon as the government would take him. His brother Richard Lighten choose the easier path to the disappointment and estrangement of his father.
“These kids now-a-days haven’t seen nothing,” Red slurred to the man next to him at the Rooster bar responding to his unasked question. Red Lighten was gruff, and sometimes a difficult man. Like a child that really never got over not getting what he wanted for Christmas
“I mean come on, this one newbie almost puked trying to take this guys pulse tonight,” the man next to him, wallowing in his own problems, mumbled a quite agreement. “When I was his age I was pulling shrapnel out of people’s chests, holding children’s innards and intestines and then ate a full breakfast…pish… kids… no stomach,” as Red mumbled other accusations against the new E.M.T. the bar door opened with a slow and annoying scratching sound also letting in the cold and with it a man who seemed to be wrapped in the dark of night.

“Shut the door! Man alive” yelled a now belligerent Red to the mysterious man in the door way. “Kids today don’t even know how to close doors… no stomach…born in a barn.” Red continued to mumble and stutter other grievances.

The walker moved with precise and purposed steps from the door to a seat at a table four feet from the drunken paramedic. Though Red gave no consideration or showed any concern for the Walker presence. However, the others in the bar became immediately uncomfortable with the strangers overshadowing presence. The walker said nothing to the waitress who asked for his order; glad to be done with her duty she hurried away to the back to retrieve more beers for the now quite customers. Dressed like some demon cowboy with a used cowboy hat that masked his face, he wore a heavy coat that hung to his body like sin. The only noise that escaped the shroud of darkness that covered his face was the heavy breathing of unforeseen dread, like air itself was trying to get away for fear of being swallowed by the walker. With unseeing eyes he slowly turned to the paramedic only feet from him.

“Lighten?” the sound of his voice was like crude oil slipping down a smooth pipe. If the bar was silent before he spoke it was now utterly catatonic now. To the people around him he sounded like death himself, as if with a single word he could call down evil to do his bidding.

“What? Whhhho..? I’m a veteran!” not knowing to whom to address he spoke more to the whole bar than to anyone specific. in the silent bar he was taken aback by how loud he sounded. “What in the desert hare is going on,” starting to realize his surroundings, he sobered quickly.

“Lighten?” again the walker spoke but this time emphasizing his want for a reply.

Finally seeing who was addressing him he could feel a cold hand clawing down his throat reaching for his very heart. A chill from the bottom of his conscience to the top of mind struck him and an unwanted shudder took him. “YYesss,” replied the frightened man, “what yuu waughnt.” Without further announcement or conversation the walker slowly, methodically got up from his chair and walked to the door with a slow look over his shoulder.

As the walker’s weapons systems fixed on poor Red as he walked slowly home, he proceeded to follow him out of town. As he climbed deftly over the rim of the ditch he had been hiding in, he heard the last dying breath of the young man he found earlier that night. Without meaning to kill the boy, who claimed to be a healer or medic or something, the walker had removed his legs to ensure he would go nowhere. Apparently human’s can die with the removal of limbs. The now legless horse appeared to have died hours before, suffering from the same apparent lack of blood the man did.

2008-11-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 7:"decisions"

Like an eerie lost ghost looking for a soul to torment, the wind blew against the cowboy’s gently thinning hair. A shock ran up the cowboy’s spine and as raised dots covered his tan and aged skin he looked 10 years older than he actually was. The moon spread out its cold chilly fingers on the earth trying to catch any exposed flesh. The storm had left several trees missing it branches and several homes which in turn found them coming through there ceilings. Before, the clouds had acted as a warm blanket over the earth trapping in the warmth and not letting it escape out to space as it so desperately wanted to do. Now that the clouds have gone the once captive heat was free to go and with it left all comfort. The cowboy was sitting rather uncomfortably behind an emergency vehicle with is shirt front ripped open exposing his white chest to the elements while the new paramedic was taking his pulse. The cowboy was amazed at how the stars felt so close to him at this point, like he could reach up and touch them with his finger, if gentle enough he might even pull one down and keep it like a boy would do to a captured frog or bug. “Breath,” harshly asked the older, rough looking medical technician.

They thought I had a heart attack just then, he said to himself. Maybe I had. I mean I hope I did, if didn’t then what happened to me? For the last hour the cowboy had been arguing with himself, wondering if this was all a figment of his imagination or was he really hearing people in his head and talking to men in spaceships.

“Charlie!” exclaimed the Cowboy loudly. The M.T.’s, believing this to be the sign of another heart attack, held him down as he tried to get up. He had forgotten that he left Charlie in the outskirts of town thinking he would only be in town for an hour and it had all ready been 4.

“He’s my horse you idiot,” and with much grunting and cursing the cowboy rose to his feet. He must have been unsteady for the techs swiftly grabbed each arm and tried to lead the stubborn old man to his seat. Not knowing if he should go back for his horse, who was his best friend. As his mind was trying to urge his body to go back for Charlie, he felt an urgent need to go back to the house he delivered that package to. He was torn between the two. For some reason he had it in his mind that he would never see his dear old friend ever again.

“Look can you do me a favor? There is a horse outside of town and by the looks of you he won’t like you a’bit but can you fetch ‘em for me?” as the confused techs watched their patient run down the street they heard “his name is Charlie damn it and make sure you get it right.”

As the strange cowboy vanished behind a set of homes the older MT said to the younger, “well if that didn’t happen as often as it does; I would’ve thought that was very weird.” As the stricken green MT climbed back into the vehicle a faint echoing howl swept across the street giving the town a horror movie feel that he did not like at all.

“That sounds really close you know? How far do you think?” Mumbled the newbie

“Who cares? I’m calling it a night.” He didn't liked this kid anyway.

The Greatest Trick

2008-11-03T19:18:00.000-08:00

I am currently studying for a youth rally that I am afraid will fail for some unforeseen reason. There is no proof or reason but I somehow feel that this will not go by smoothly. I’m studying the cross of Christ and its impact on people in their daily lives. Josh Tucker is doing the other lesson and I have complete faith that he will do his part with quality and purpose. I look at the life that Jesus led and all of the sacrifices that he made while he was still on earth and I shudder to think that I would last as long as Jesus did. Three years is a miracle that I could never achieve or duplicate. Sometimes I wonder what it is I am doing here on earth, trying to be a minster in world that is clearly not caring how and where it is going. I am sitting here listening to a gaggle of boys pretending to talk like men, or at least what they think men talk like. I cannot help but feel sorry for them and their obvious blinding of the world’s control over their “free choices”. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, “THIS IS NOT REALITY!” I know they would not listen, instead they will retreat deeper into their subconscious routines and belief structures that have trained them from birth to accept this as reality. However, in their speech I still hear doubt and searching for what “real”, like an infant trying out new words and seeking correctness from its parents. I pray that God gives us the courage to help people see what reality is and what captivity does. May the lost see the light and may we be bright enough to show them.

All great nations fall

2008-10-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

I like most of you are scared about where our country is going and how fast it’s going there. I try my best to remain politically neutral when it comes to politics. I don’t believe that the United States is the church and therefore I don’t know if we can apply Church characteristics and attributes to it. Jesus is the head of the church and not this nation. I, like many Christians, am struggling with amount force I should assert in this nation. As all nations go it is guaranteed that they will go out someday. I listen to the comments of our older, wiser generation about the moral level of their days and how far it has come. When I look forward to our coming struggle with issues like homosexual marriage, allowing non-wed couples to adopt, socioeconomic class struggles (thank you CNN), abortion, embryonic stem-cell research… etc. I’m not going to rail against any particular party, person, or group. I must remember that God will give peace to his people and that one day, no matter how bad it gets, that Jesus will come back for me. What physical action should I take to save a sinking ship I know will never recover? How much sand should I bail out of a quicksand pit to save a dying animal in the middle? I agree with what Pippen said while standing on the balcony with Gandalf in Gondor looking out to see the subtle yet violent glows of Mount Mordor climbing closer. I can't stand war but standing on the verge of one you couldn’t escape is worse. May we all find peace and comfort in this coming storm, also, I pray we find the courage to fight whatever spiritual and physical battle we must for the Kingdom of our lord and king. I'm not a defeatist or a pessimist, I’m just scared for us and where we are going. You can call me a realest. If you are not all ready praying for God’s will to be done here then please do so. God Bless you and may God’s kingdom increase.

2008-10-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 6:"truth sucks"

“I’m not your father and your mother is not… well… not your mother,” lightly remarked Richard Lighten to his now stone faced son. As Thomas’ world slowly crumbled before his very dark red eyes, he couldn’t back a burst of laughter. Like he was the ring leader of his own circus and he was also the main attraction.
Almost conversationally Richard continued, “For the last 18 years I have thought about how to say that simple phrase… I’m sorry for whatever its worth.” Richard had thinking about how to word it but always came to the same conclusion. Keep it simple. Richard was hoping that Thomas would see he willingness to be straight forward and admire him for it. This was not what Thomas was thinking. Thomas’ only reply was the vivid color his eyes were using to communicate silent frustration and confusion.

Alisha, doing all should could to hold back the flood of tears could hold back no longer and let out a silent sob. Her hands crawled along the table surface looking for the hands of her son; she hoped he still was her son. Richard remained stone still, as if he was under inspection and his life depended on him not moving. Only the sounds of breath exhaling from nervous lungs could be heard.

“Mummy?” murmured a sleepy little girl in her mother’s warm arm. Without finding its quarry, her arm retracted from the table and wrapped around the child.

What do you say to that? Reply Thomas to himself. Scrambling for words to break the awkward silence Thomas was only able to say “Ok, what happened, why, where, when… what the...”

Taking her emotions back under her control she said, “We all need to sleep on this for right now. Tomorrow, when we have all thought about this we will answer all of your questions.” Without looking at her husband or uttering a sound in his direction, she got up to put her baby to bed.

All the while Thomas was left at the table wondering to himself; if these two were not his parents then who is?

2008-10-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 5:"the package"

The thunder from the storm raging outside sounded like monsters trying to break into the house through the roof. Rain steadily beat against the windows threatening to break them in if they continued their resistance. The vibration from the central heater was felt through the floor as Thomas gentle turned the package over in his nervous hands.

Who could this possibly come from? Asked Thomas who was slowly turning into an anxious 12 year boy Christmas morning about to open his presents. His eyes turned a bright shade of green, like the color you would see on a plant in spring about to release its flower for the entire world to admire. As another shot of lightening temporarily dimmed the light of his average room he began to fumble delicately with the tape that barred his entrance into its mysterious chambers within.

As most boys his age, he began to pump his legs anxiously like a runner warming up before a race. “Why I am I so excited to see what’s in this box? “ Thomas remarked verbally. Reluctantly tuning down, he dropped the box on the ground and looked at it like it was a device trying to control his mind. As the thunder buffeted the house the groan of the bed was inaudible as he stood up and turned for the door leaving the package unopened and looking rather disappointed on the ground. Walking down the stairs that lead to the kitchen he could hear the hushed hurried voices of his parents at the kitchen table where his 2 year old sister was playing under the table with his old dump truck which had her Barbie doll elegantly seated on top commanding her loyal subjects (imaginary) with grace and beauty. “What are you guys talking about?” asked Thomas not trying to sound as sharp as it came out.

“We’re talking about the box you received earlier today,” replied his mother. He could see the faint streaks tears recently wiped away from the napkin she held in her hands.

“Yeah, who dropped it off by the way,” with his mother opening the subject Thomas felt free to pursue it. “I mean was it a messenger? Because I wasn’t expecting anything.” As Thomas opened the refrigerator he had to move half of its contents just to grab a Dr. Pepper.

His father replied, “We were hoping you might be able to enlighten us.”

“No, I haven’t opened it yet,” trying his best to cover his bright green eyes to conceal his anxious desire to find out what it is. “Do you want me to bring it down and we could open it together?”

His father, Richard Lighten, was reserved man prone to few words and even fewer facial expressions. He was a retired army Colonel that saw a lot of action in both desert storm and the current conflict. Currently he was trying his hand as an electrician making good money, but doing it mostly to keep himself busy. Richard loved his son and wanted him to know that but found it hard to show him in any way that Thomas would understand.

“Mom are you ok?”

“I’ll be fine hunny, just go up get the package and we’ll talk.”

When Thomas came back down the stairs he could hear very clearly his father.

“Alisha, we must, if we don’t… when will we.”

Sobbing openly by this time, “how…do you think he will react? Hunny put the tuck on the floor please.” Amanda had decided to make her presence finally known by driving the truck straight up her mothers leg.
When he hit the landing he did his best to hide his reaction from overhearing them.

“Are you guys sure everything is ok?” his eyes now turning dark brown showing his inner turmoil.

“It will be ok. Just open the package,” not used to the angry tone his father used; he robotically brought the package to the table and began to open it.

Once the tape was removed, Thomas opened the cardboard lid and peered down at a silvery rectangle with an apple symbol in the middle of the rectangle seeming to have a bite taken from its side. As if a physical weight was lifted off his parents they sighed in unison and leaned back in their chairs like they had just been running and were now taking a rest. It was a computer, actually it was Macbook pro. As if it were made out of egg shell and any jerky motion would destroy it, Thomas gently removed it from the box.

“Is this why you guys were freaking out?” he addressed his parents still having a look of amazement on his face.

“No, we thought it was something completely different love,” said Alisha clearly relieved.

When Thomas lifted the lid and moved to turn it on it turned on all by itself. A strange voice came from the device making it sound like it was possessed. Without Thomas knowing microsystems turned on and routines began to whir to life, a series of hypersonic messages were sent from the computer to the mind of and equally unknowing cowboy 2 miles away.

“Siiuurr, wii neeeded yous now.” The cowboy, thinking he had seen it all, passed out right on Main Street.

2008-09-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 4 "Messenger"

“ell nnu teek pleeez?” ask the messenger from the landing craft

The cowboy understood none of this for he was still arousing from the considerable shock he received when Charlie bucked him off.

“Wh..hhhat?” muttered a frightful cowboy.

He could not believe that only 5 minutes ago he was riding east towards Bozeman, MT minding his own business. When the bright lights first appeared silhouetted against the coming storm in the far distant horizon, he thought he was having a stroke. At first, he thought “oh, great a stroke out here in the middle of nowhere.” After the initial scare he accepted his soon to be fate rather quickly. Instead of the expected blackness to consume his tired mind and release him from his flesh, the light continued to get brighter and then turned in his direction.

“What in the seven blazes of hell?” Exclaimed the cowboy to his equally scared horse.

The craft looked like a mix between huge Cadillac from the 60’s and a pincher bug. You know, one of those super long, super opulent cars with the long tail fins on either side of the trunk but at least 20 feet long and 15 feet at its highest point. Instead of the interior cabin, though, there was a bubble like cockpit which could give the pilot the ability to see 360 degrees in all directions if indeed that was where the pilot was, if it had a pilot. In the front protruded to long pincers which the cowboy found to be exceedingly intimidating. If you where to step 100 feet back you would find this scene very comical. It looked like a cowboy was being attacked by a huge ant from some cheesy sci-fi western. As it landed Charlie finally had enough and threw the cowboy 4 feet and then ran as if he was several years younger.
As the dust finally decided to settle, the cowboy attempted to get up but failed horribly. For some reason his legs refused to obey his staunch order to rise and his bladder taking notice of the rebellion released its contents to the dissatisfaction of its owner. He felt like he was in the movie when the earth stood still and the aliens made first contact. However, in real life things moved a lot more quickly because the messenger in the craft had other jobs that evening and he did want to go home before his children went to sleep. A door swung open where there was no door before and a tall man replaced it. He swiftly moved to the man on the ground and then cursed unintelligibly to himself under his breath.

In butchered English he said “Diz pakeag iz tho nnu. Pleeez teek.”
As the shock wore off, his hand took the package as if it thought it now had the right to make decisions on its own.

“wwwhhhaaaattttt?” questioned the now thoroughly confused cowboy. “Are you what I think you are?”

Yet, without a reply the man did a terse about face and quickly walked to his ship. From his position the cowboy could not see the man climb back into his cockpit and radio his station in orbit around the moon that the package was delivered and he was going home. His other jobs would have to wait because his wife would not be happy that it took him that long to deliver that package. They had a new born baby to look after.

As the craft started up its engines, if it had engines, and at first slowly rose from the ground. The higher the craft rose the faster it got and with a deafeningly loud BANG disappeared into the fast approaching storm. As if on cue Charlie poked his head around a small hill he was hiding behind to see if the craft was finally gone. Seeing that the coast was clear Charlie started walking back to see if his master wasn’t vaporized.

“Thanks Charlie,” said the cowboy rather sarcastically. “Never mind, I probably would have done the same.”

Charlie nibbled on his shoulder as sign of apology. With much reluctance his legs finally gave back control to the cowboy and he slowly got up.

“Did you see that Charlie?”

A teen's childish prayer

2008-09-22T12:53:00.001-07:00

This last Sunday I was a witness to a miracle. In Sudan Texas I am a mentor/teacher to a handful of kids crazy enough to think I know what I’m talking about concerning spiritual matters. One of these teenagers name is Tanner Testerman, he is 16 and thinks he has everything under control. Like most his age, who being raised in the church have a spiritual education equivalent to 6th grader. They know that Jonah was swallowed by a fish/whale/mammal/dolphin (they know debate still rages about this sensitive topic), and they know that Noah built an ark where a bunch of smiling men, women, children and animal lived in for 40 days and nights. They know that Abraham was old and Sarah was older, and that Jesus was some sort of sheep or lamb on our behalf. They man needs to be saved, but they nothing of what they need saved from and why they needed to be saved in the first place. I have spent the last year trying my best to help them understand the reality of the bible and the life of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. To tell you the truth I have been getting incredibly frustrated with myself for not “doing enough” for these kids. Two weeks ago Tanner was asked to lead a prayer for the fruit of the vine, his very first prayer by the way. As I stood beside him in front of the communion table I began to get nervous on his behalf as he asked everybody bow their heads to pray. What came out of his mouth did not fit any standard we might have for what a prayer should sound like. He muttered several word repeatedly and mumbled some more only to end his prayer with a quivering unintelligible th..than…thank yyyuooo God. I could not describe to you in words at how proud I was of this young man; furthermore, I could not even imagine the love and honor the LORD must have felt to have this young and confused man finally talk to him. As I said above I have witnessed a miracle this last Sunday, because after some study and encouragement Tanner lead a prayer after the devotional we had Sunday night. What came from his mouth was both beautiful and well said. I have been so focused on what I could do for these kids I have completely forgot what it is that God can do through them. There is no other job like ministering to people, to be able to help and be helped along this road we call life is like no other experience I have ever had. Finally, when Tanner said his amen and raised his head I wasn’t too shocked when the next thing he said was “I think I’m getting pretty good at this.”

2008-09-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 3 "The Storm"

What makes a storm believe itself so pompous and haughty to deserve the whole of the sky? Can such a creation claim that much space to simple relieves its energy like a little boy that had too much water before he went to bed. I wonder if God will allow me to make that same claim, thought the lone cowboy. The storm, now forming in the eastern sky was beginning to take the shape of any enormous dragon set to consume the world it so jealousy looked upon. The yellow lights of the city gave the elemental dragon the look of a golden encrusted belly similar to Smaug that Bilbo so gallantly fought against. Maybe this was his long lost relative escaping its own realm searching for worlds that could sustain its equally enormous appetite. Of all creation the cowboy felt he was most akin to a storm. Except this whirlwind had blown out long ago; long lost to the world so quickly advancing upon him. Like a storm he had blown in from what seemed like a faraway place only to scramble up everything he touched, set fire to people’s hearts, flood others expectations, and then when all his huffing and puffing and blowing refused to knock down the piggy’s home, he ran away to the wilderness where he has been ever sense. Yet, are we not all susceptible to the same nature. We come on the scene of life believing we have earned the right to be front and center like some comical play set before a grand audience. When we perform our short and inglorious act we are pushed off the stage like trash expended from a grotesque vending machine. Once expunged from the theatre we succumb to the fact that we are useless and there for dedicate our lives to remembering what it was like to be front and center and in the spot light. But as this cowboy was to find out he was neither used nor discarded. On the contrary the cowboy was about to find himself in the middle of a hurricane that would envelope both his life and the lives of all the people on this small stage called earth. Now all he had to do was deliver this small package to kid he had never met, in a town he only dimly remembered, and in a society he long ago abandoned.

“I hope you’re ready for this Thomas… whoever you are.”

2008-08-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based on real events
Chapter 2

“git oft me!” withered a pathetic looking boy from under the foot of an impressive looking football player named Bud
“Now why should I even consider that for what you did?” rumbled the burly 11th grader

You see the problem with this situation is not only the boy under the oppressive foot of an 11th grader but he himself was a grade higher ad 2 years older. From the time puberty decided to invade the boys all ready hectic life, to his not so exciting 18th birthday, he was considered… well just average. Nothing about this boy could be labeled anything more than average. He had an average nose attached to his normal face, he stood at an average 5 foot 8 inches, which also made him ineligible for the “jock elite”, and he made average grades in his average school. His hair was average brown which matched his average clothing all the way down to his average shoes, he lived in an average neighborhood with average neighbors. However, there is one thing that makes this average boy not so entirely… average.

“Oohhhh, look his eyes are turning red, this must mean he is getting angry, hahahaha,” taunted the ogre.

When the boy was born the doctors believed that he had some sort infantile virus which centered on the iris. What the doctors could not explain is how the boy’s eye color could change so quickly and with such vivid colors. Within the first minutes of birth the boy’s eyes had changed every color, from white to yellow, from purple to black. The doctors, finally, had to conclude that the boy’s ciliary body produces different chemicals depending on different moods which causes the iris to react, creating a collideascope effect. Mr. and Mrs. Shmelder, like most parents, loved their boy regardless of any “defect” he might have. However, the other boys he went to school with did not share his parent’s acceptance of his ability to “eye shift”.

“Hunny… why are you sad?” asked the boys loving mother.

“Mom stop reading me like that.” Though the boy was trying to sound like a man he was doing a poor impersonation.

His mother did not have to look into her sons static blue eyes to understand her sons inner agony, all she had to do was listen to the way he trudged through the front door.

“Rocky thought I was looking at his girlfriend again,” muttered the defeated boy, “which of course I wasn’t.” that was a lie. She was beautiful. The boy thought to himself ‘How could I stop my eyes from turning pink, or stop my heart from running away every time I see her.’

With an exhausted grunt the boy all but whispered “I just don’t understand.”
With an air of finality which his mother was incapable of penetrating, he retreated into his own world where everybody viewed his average life as something more. With every foot fall on the stairs that lead to his room, he retreated deeper into the life he lived in. This realm of fantasy that existed in his head. When he grasped the cold bronze door knob to gain access to his cluttered room, he saw a small package standing like a lone guard in front of his door. The boy, slowly and with much reserve, bent over and picked up this lone guardian.

“MOM! Where did this package come from?”

Though he was trying to keep his excitement down he was doing a bad job of it. Before any reply could come back he walked into his room and shut the door behind him, which made the broad “KEEP OUT OR YOU WILL DIE...SISTERS INCLUDED” sign fall from its position on the door, replacing the package as the lone guardian in the deserted hallway. As infinite possibilities rolled through his now clearly excited face, he began to open the tightly wrapped package. Starting with the removal of the sticker with the word THOMAS scrolled across it. This of course was his name.

2008-08-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

Thomas’ Computer: a short story loosely based or real events

When in ages before such lights of such brightness were less frequent they would only cause confusion among those blessed enough to witness such extravagant beauty. In others, worship would be the only justifiable action to take in view of the lights bright radiance. The lone cowboy could only consider those in his life that have made the same lofty claims as he now can make. “I have seen what no man has seen and yet can I remain sane in a reality that rejects such outrageous existences.”

The light now reduced to a small glimmer of the once overpowering sun it had been only a few short seconds ago, shrunk into the expanding glow of the fast approaching sky father, who would soon reclaim his rights to the heavens. Slowly and with many cracks, clicks and a general protest from his sore and overused back, the old cowboy attempted and succeeded to get up from his dusty earth bed and begin the old routine of preparing for the quickly budding day, which started with saddling his old horse.

“Did you see that Charlie?”

Charlie gave the cowboy a long look that the cowboy assumed as a definite yes. Though the horse was old he was not blind. Actually, as far as creatures were concerned, Charlie was one of the smartest animals, humans included, the cowboy had ever known. If you were to ask the cowboy who he trusted with his life, he would pick his horse. His reasoning behind this choice was quite simple. Charlie didn’t mind if he didn't talk very much and Charlie never complained, couldn’t say the same for those he claimed friendship with and he doubted the family he had left would do the same.

“Do you think people would consider me crazy, Charlie, if I told them what transpired this morning?”

Charlie just stood there and assumed the cowboy must be joking if he thinks people don’t consider him crazy all ready. The cowboy was never the one people you would feel comfortable going to if you had a trouble or needed help. The towns that he did go into never cared much for the cowboy's ancient traditions or his ancient horse. Why should they? He thought. Cars, cell phones, go, go, go, the fact that everybody has a place to go and seemingly no time to get there. That must be why they go so fast,

"Kids," the cowboy muttered under his breath, with head shake approval Charlie always gave to the cowboy's none verbal rants.

The cowboy had all he would ever need here in the wilderness under the free sky. With such companions as the stars that made their illustrious show spread across the black stage of night. How could one get tired of such pompous entities that so righteously allow you to peruse their lofty performances for so little of a price? Price? The cowboy did not often think of the price that he paid in order to experience the events we currently find him in. For a price was most definitely paid to free him from the bondage that so ensnared our hero. If you think I have made a mistake to choose this lone and alone cowboy as the protagonist of our story you are the one that is mistaken, for a hero he is as a hero he always was. Hero’s are in us all, no matter how little or how big they might be. But as this man will come to find, discovering the hero in yourself is a journey that will take you through the heights of joy to depths of suffering, through the mount of olives to the place of your death.

Together All Aroundness

2008-08-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

Life is full of change and wrongly balanced weights. This simple yet complicated fact is something I have known for some time. It’s like getting stuck in one of those mirror mazes that you see cliché style carnivals in small towns. You feel like you should be old enough to navigate through this thing with no problem, but you get more and more frustrated at the fact that you can't. I wonder why things must change. I'm not talking about the type of change that you feel when one of your favorite shows on T.V. is canceled or moves to another time. I'm talking about the kind of change that shakes your very concept of happiness and being.
The older I get the more I realize that life is a magnificent equalizer. Everything has a balance, a reaction to ever action and a versa to every visa. When one thing moves or shifts everything else feels the consequence of that one small movement and seek a similar counter. Imagine if you will a platform on a very large fulcrum balanced perfectly.
Am I trying to challenge our concept of reality? Or am I just musing about something everybody has an opinion of yet never shares with people around them. When you pick up your cross you are forfeiting your right to control your life. When you pick up your cross you will deny yourself and live only by the permission of your King. However, this Lord is no dictator but has given you permission to live and sets his holy throne in you taking up permanent residence to give endless blessings. In essence, change becomes the pieces that make up your life. It is only then that God shows what true balance is. It’s like a world that is always just a little off and all the people on this world live with this “natural” feeling that life will always be a little off. Even if you were to come from another world and correct the problem by adding the weight that was taken so long ago, people will have a hard time adjusting to what is correct. When Jesus decides to affect the lives of those that come in contact with him he will leave them “unbalanced”. Things that once held no controversy or the people that everyone assumes “have it together” no longer seem right.
When we are confronted with the changes that God demands of us to make, the only reason they don’t fit is because we live in a crooked world. It is the Spirit in us trying his best to make us more like we should be and who once were.
What does all of this mean? When you feel like you have got all of your “things” together it is surprising how quickly God can spread those “things” all around. As cliché as that sounds, it’s kind of his thing. So when you feel unbalanced. When all of your unquestionables are in question and all of the people in your life take on a different light. May the God who is all together around you and through you, bring you the peace that you so desperately need. Know and be comforted that God knows, intimately, that you are in need, and he is the one who will give you what you need to be “balanced”.

Ministry Mouse

2008-05-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been incredibly worried about what my ministry will look like. What I mean is that I have wanted to be a minister sense I was a little kid. I have always known that it

was the only line of work that I could do that would make me happy and give me a sense fulfillment. Don’t get me wrong though, when I say fulfillment, I mean that working for God and for his church is the highest calling I could hope to attain to. But lately I have felt afraid that I would not be good at it. It’s funny to think that I have wanted to be a youth and family minister for so long and now that I am drawing near to that profession, I just might be not gifted well for it.

I’m not looking for validation nor am I looking for people to tell me “oh Joe but you are gifted for ministry.” What I do want people to think about is how God calls us to do things we don’t necessarily think we are capable of doing. I am going to do ministry as an occupation for the rest of my life. Though I know I will struggle and fail many times, I also know that God calls me by who he sees me to be and not by who I actually am. When God confronted Gideon he didn’t call him what he actually was, a coward, instead, God called him what God thought he was, a mighty warrior. The only way Gideon could be a coward is if he decided to maintain the same status he always held, instead of accepting the status God thrust upon him. I’m not saying that just because God calls us warriors we can get a gun and fight in Iraq. However, it does give us the right to hold our heads high and do things that are impossible, improbable, and even things we think we are not gifted in.

Life of Youth Work

2008-04-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have done youth work now for five years. I have interned, practiced and failed youth work for the last five years. I still get nervous at the thought of standing in front of 10-15 teenagers and try and teach them the concepts and laws of their creator and savior. Four years ago I lived in a remote part of the United States called Bozeman Montana teaching and mentoring people who probably should have been teaching and mentoring me. Now after four years of traveling and wondering I find myself back in Bozeman asking God how he got anything done while I was here. The college and youth group that I so foolishly tried to lead and "straighten up" was God's group all along. The older I get the more and more I come to realize that God is God and is most definitely not. It was not that while I was working with the youth in Bozeman that I believed I was God, however, I did believe that the work going on in Bozeman revolved around me and it was my job to keep the work of God going.

My favorite verse is Proverbs 3:5-6. I love this verse so much that I decided to get this tattooed on my back in original Hebrew. The concept and message of this verse is incredibly simple and applicable to anyone anywhere. Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and never lean on your wisdom or understanding. In every way acknowledge him in ALL that you do because it is He that will carry you through. The Hebrew word used here for LORD is the most cherished name of God, Jehovah. This name is the national name of God by the Jewish people. When a Jew hears this name he is to recall the God of the covenant. It was Jehovah that came to Adam and Eve after the fall of mankind and promised the solution to the sin problem man just created. Jehovah was the God that came to Abraham and promised him a land and a nation. Jehovah is the God of the Law of Moses which he gave to his people promising them that if they keep the law and followed him, God would bless them and give them more than they ever imagined. However, Jehovah is the God that ripped the land and the nation from them when they failed to follow him and keep his commandments. Jehovah is all we need and is worthy of our trust and respect. He has never backed down from a promise and has never lacked to provide his part of a covenant.

In our ministry and life it is this God that is in control. We cannot depend or lean on our understanding of what ministry should be or look like. As ministers and workers in his kingdom we must depend on the wisdom and understanding that comes from God. Now if you are anything like me you have heard that same statement spoken hundreds of times with no definition of what is this wisdom and understanding. The experience I do have in ministry is just enough to know that I still lack this understanding. But the end of v. 6 is what I love the most. The understanding of God and the wisdom that he does provide us is enough to carry us through. I always think of a father leading his child through a trail in the mountains. The child doesn’t know of the dangers off to the side of the trail, he only has the father’s assurance that if he follows close by the child has nothing to fear. When the child stumbles and falls the father is there to encourage and even pick up and carry the hurting child to the journeys end.

I leave you with that encouragement. May your ministry never be your own but God’s. May you trust in God and lean on his wisdom and be amazed as to where he will carry you.